Re-Rewind

congratz dajie and hendy for your ROM!!! =)

i'm having a hard time to start writing my blog again. i said that hols has been superb so far. and it really is. i enjoyed myself so much in indo that sometimes i feel guilty. i wonder how my maid felt when she had to bring the load of shopping bags to my room. i hear so much about my friends going for mission trips, church camps, work etc etc... while there i was, slacking my time away.

indo is always a great place for me to rest and have fun. i get to go back there at least twice a year. and its a period where i really get to spend time with my family.

i'm the kind of girl who needs a break once in a while. let's say i've been too stressed out with school, i'll stay at home even it means i'm skipping class. if i've been going out to play consecutively for days, i'll also choose to stay at home for at least one whole day by myself. i love being with people but i also like to spend time by myself. you can catch me talking alot at one moment, i'll be quieter at the next, especially when i'm in a crowd.

so when summer hols came, i thought yay! i am going to go back indonesia to have a break from eVEryTHIng! from school, ccas, from msn, from all my loves, desires and responsibilities in singapore. just for one month. on the other hand, i did not want to play too long in indo, cus i know i needed a break even from vacation. 4 months is waay too long.

i didn't realise though, that when i wanted to lose contact with everything here, i lost contact with God. that's horrible. if there's one thing we do not take a break from, its God. its like breathing. we never take a break from breathing. ditto for God. we need Him all the time. and silly me, who had all the time in her world began to do things on her own. without Him. i had all these great plans mapped out in my head, all the things i said i wanted to do during hols. then while i was free, i slacked even the slightest things i could do. like praying. reading His word. that's all that i didn't do with all my heart, and half-heartedness is all it took to keep me apart from God.

not that i can do anything to change the time that has passed. but lince, start writing your blog again, and stop walking by youself. walk with God. even when things seem alright and great, you still need Him each day. don't take Him for granted. it really hurts not to be with God. and you are really too proud and not wise enough to live by your own anyway.