i didn't know what to say to her =(
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
one girl told me that she wants to be swept away by the tsunami and disappear into some remote and unknown island. she'll have a new beginning, staying with the natives. no past to bother her. and one year later when she returns or when she is discovered, she'll pretend to have amnesia. then she can forget about the expectations that others have of her, and just live like how she thinks her life should be. when the others see her again, they'd have no reason to impose on those expectations anymore because they can't expect her to know or remember.
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You can explain escapism to her which many people in reality do. She can escape for once but not for life. People can't expect her to know or remember but people will expect her to feel. It is the feel that people remember. If you were to ask that girl, she will definitely remember when is the sweetest and saddest moment in life. So if she will to do that. It will just end up in self delusion and when the truth is exposed, She will be on an even lower utility curve and may not be able to handle it. And remember the key to overcoming any expectations is to overcome the feel. Just for illustration, (1)everyone hates to study but if studying becomes fun, it will become more of a natural absorption as compared to a force absorption.(2)Exercising. One may hate to exercise because it requires discipline and is torturous but if the exercise becomes fun, u will enjoy doing it. Just take for example playing basketball. I believe you will understand.
So the key is to divert the attention of the suffering and bring in that enjoyable factor for the expectation. This will divert that heavy burden of expectation plus you must let her understand that you can't expect a problem to disappear, the only way to solve it is to face it and solve it.
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