Korean Taekwondo Spectacular last nite was well, spectacular. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else... they were so....... Z.A.I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. my heart was beating so fast.
SMU's peak period is here again. all schmates are in msn's busy mode... but it also means tt... there's only 3 more weeks to hols! =)
i need to learn more what it means to live is Christ. even if there's 3 a-thousand-words assignments, 3 presentations, 4 project papers, 4 finals. that's not what's bothering actually.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Thank God for Fleas, Mosquitoes and Bad Stuffs
from RBC Ministries, October 2005 newsletter:
"In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." -1 Thessalonians 5:18.
When Corrie Ten Boom was in a Nazi Concentration camp, her barrack was infested with fleas. One night when reading this passage, Corrie's sister exclaimed, "God wants us to thank Him for the fleas." Corrie said, "No way! I'm NOT going to thank God for these infernal fleas!"
Their nightly bible study had started to attract more women, and Corrie worried that they would get caught. At one point she asked, "Why don't the Nazis ever come to check on us?" "The Nasiz won't come near this place because of the fleas" was the answer. Then she exclaimed, "God, thank You for the fleas!"
"In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." -1 Thessalonians 5:18.
When Corrie Ten Boom was in a Nazi Concentration camp, her barrack was infested with fleas. One night when reading this passage, Corrie's sister exclaimed, "God wants us to thank Him for the fleas." Corrie said, "No way! I'm NOT going to thank God for these infernal fleas!"
Their nightly bible study had started to attract more women, and Corrie worried that they would get caught. At one point she asked, "Why don't the Nazis ever come to check on us?" "The Nasiz won't come near this place because of the fleas" was the answer. Then she exclaimed, "God, thank You for the fleas!"
Friday, October 28, 2005
Of Epiphanies
20 years of life, learning, verses, and thoughts:
1. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting. A woman who fears the Lord deserves to be praised.
2. yet i am still vain.
3. guys have egos. but girls have pride.
4. i like crooked teeth. and no... i don't have them myself. pls don't wear braces.
5. i dun eat apple. or tofu. or spaghetti.
6. practise random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
7. if a girl falls for a guy, i really hope the guy catches her fall.
8. one of the worst feelings is to have pple whom u care to not care.
9. i take v long to reply sms and sometimes i dun even reply. i need to change.
10. do unto others what you want others to do unto you.
11. voices need to be heard.
12. dance like noone's watching. sing like noone's listening. love like you're not going to get hurt. live like there's no tomorrow.
13. the heart is deceitful. be careful. guard it for it is the wellspring of life.
14. i love to write.
15. i oscillate between pride and condemnation. both are one of my greatest struggles.
16. i am not better than you. neither am i worse than you. don't judge. don't self-condemn. we are equally loved, and equally worthy in His sight.
17. Thank God for that!
18. i love girls. girlfriends are one of the greatest gifts ever.
19. i need to have enough sleep.
20. i think it's relatively easy to not do bad things, but harder to do good.
21. likewise, it's relatively easy not to hate, but it's harder to love.
22. i mean love, as in not just those people that are lovable. but to love those that are not lovable in my sight.
23. love God, love others, love your neighbours, love your enemies. as yourself.
24. because He first loves us.
25. the rich and the poor has this in common. the Lord is the maker of them all.
26. likewise, take away "the rich " and "the poor". fill the blanks with you and someone else. try fitting it in with someone you don't like, despise or judge. try again with someone whom you envy. the sentence'll still work.
27. i am a christian who happens to be a student. not a student who happens to be a christian.
28. God listens.
29. our understanding is so limited. but His words and ways are higher than ours.
30. trust Him.
31. the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
32. ask yourself today if you bear His fruit.
33. i am a child and a sister.
34. i want to be a wife and a mother one day. if it's in His plan.
35. i expect alot from my family and friends. i don't know if tt's good or bad...
36. don't listen to sad songs when you are sad. it's not theraupatic. it just gives you an avenue to sink deeper.
37. i don't want to treasure things less just because i have more.
38. dun make promises which u can't keep.
39. even if you think you can, try not to.
40. talk less.
41. only 2 things will not perish. the souls of Man and His word. that's the things that matter... people and Him.
42. not money, not fame, not power. these will only leave us dissatisfied, and feeling empty.
43. there'll always ups and downs.
44. hold on to the promise of eternity. have hope. be patient. don't give up.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Thank You... again.
we shudnt use certain words too often... lest we take it for granted. 1 of the phrases that i use most is... (ya ya a lot of pple commented before.... =P) "thank you"! haha... i really hope that i'm not overusing it to the extent that it dun mean anything to u anymore. it's just that i have no other words to say to express and appreciate people, and am at a loss to think of what's appropriate, enough, unlacking, better.
So there... thank you family, thank you friend, thank You God. =)
one of my greatest wish is to let all the blessings that you so freely give unto me, be freely passed on to you and others..... lince, pass it on!!! =)
So there... thank you family, thank you friend, thank You God. =)
one of my greatest wish is to let all the blessings that you so freely give unto me, be freely passed on to you and others..... lince, pass it on!!! =)
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Feet, Smells and Kisses
i thought i wanted to kiss Your feet... You know? especially after reading about the woman who wiped your feet with her hair, with her tears, and kissed it! i'm so inspired to adore You like her. heh... hmmz... but then... what if Your feet smells? okay i am sorry... i don't mean to be rude or anything... but would i dare to kiss Your feet if it smells?
hmmz.... i always want to do this the first thing i see You nxt time... *HUGZ!*
i will really hug You like mad... but after i read abt that woman, i feel that she's so humble... only dare to kiss your feet... i'm so fussy in comparison.... feet still must smell nice.... and want to hug You somemore!
but before i can finish my thought, You already bent down and washed my feet....
how come God, You can humble yourself like that???? and love me like that...... i'm so silly to think abt smelly feet... i think in heaven everything will smell nice too.... and You are so pure... surely'll have a nice smell......
hmmz.... i always want to do this the first thing i see You nxt time... *HUGZ!*
i will really hug You like mad... but after i read abt that woman, i feel that she's so humble... only dare to kiss your feet... i'm so fussy in comparison.... feet still must smell nice.... and want to hug You somemore!
but before i can finish my thought, You already bent down and washed my feet....
how come God, You can humble yourself like that???? and love me like that...... i'm so silly to think abt smelly feet... i think in heaven everything will smell nice too.... and You are so pure... surely'll have a nice smell......
Friday, September 30, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
small girl BIG QUESTIONS
my hands went cold for a while yesterday evening. the green man didn't know though. the red man pretends to know, stood still and mocked. i felt stupid. But after the green man flashed, that little stupidity gave me relief.
life's little ironies...
today restlessness resides a little more than usual. i get a little more emotional. i haven't seen so many people coming for service in a long time.... someone commented that it felt like christmas service. the rare scene of a full house. time seems not to notice though, service goes on as per normal, lunch, then home. and that was it. the last of CG/YF service.
yet this is not the last of us. nor the least.
for all my questions of life and whos and whys and hows and whats and whens and wheres, oh how He knows. and yes He knows. should i repeat that He knows? and i am saying it for the fourth time not for your emphasis, but for my benefit.
He knows.
small girls can only trust His answer. Even when she hears silence...
-----------------------------------------
"God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
with wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God"
Awesome God, by Rich Mullins
life's little ironies...
today restlessness resides a little more than usual. i get a little more emotional. i haven't seen so many people coming for service in a long time.... someone commented that it felt like christmas service. the rare scene of a full house. time seems not to notice though, service goes on as per normal, lunch, then home. and that was it. the last of CG/YF service.
yet this is not the last of us. nor the least.
for all my questions of life and whos and whys and hows and whats and whens and wheres, oh how He knows. and yes He knows. should i repeat that He knows? and i am saying it for the fourth time not for your emphasis, but for my benefit.
He knows.
small girls can only trust His answer. Even when she hears silence...
-----------------------------------------
"God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
with wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God"
Awesome God, by Rich Mullins
Friday, September 16, 2005
Luke 10:39-42
She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha" the Lord answerd," you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Just a Note
hey all.... heh have been neglecting this space for sometime...
was busy with work then, now busy with sch... lotsa things happen in 1 month, yet everything remains pretty much the same... there are ups... there are downs....
basically, i am well. =)
things i did:
went for Mahasiswa Indonesia Menuai (MIM) 2005 over a weekend. it's a youth missionary conference... made really nice friends... hope to see them again on 12sep! and i learnt much frm those 3 days... but i musnt jus be contented wif learning, must oso practise them! heh. so many things till i duno how to start and i dun even know if i shud pen them down here. but i guess it doesnt really matter.... what matters more is my actions... not mere words.
working was an experience... both good and bad... i got my first pay cheque! heehee... though its not much... but it's qte fun waiting for it... it's also interesting to work with different people and supervisors. colleages are nice fortunately... i work part-time with 3 other smu friends. plus 1 nus friend, plus 1 more friend frm outside. all nice people... =)
did other things here and there too.... but can't rem at this point of time.... heh... nxt time rem then blog...
school is starting to give lotsa readings and work... so i mus jiayou... heh. all of u in sch or working or in ns jiayou too k! take care till i see you....
was busy with work then, now busy with sch... lotsa things happen in 1 month, yet everything remains pretty much the same... there are ups... there are downs....
basically, i am well. =)
things i did:
went for Mahasiswa Indonesia Menuai (MIM) 2005 over a weekend. it's a youth missionary conference... made really nice friends... hope to see them again on 12sep! and i learnt much frm those 3 days... but i musnt jus be contented wif learning, must oso practise them! heh. so many things till i duno how to start and i dun even know if i shud pen them down here. but i guess it doesnt really matter.... what matters more is my actions... not mere words.
working was an experience... both good and bad... i got my first pay cheque! heehee... though its not much... but it's qte fun waiting for it... it's also interesting to work with different people and supervisors. colleages are nice fortunately... i work part-time with 3 other smu friends. plus 1 nus friend, plus 1 more friend frm outside. all nice people... =)
did other things here and there too.... but can't rem at this point of time.... heh... nxt time rem then blog...
school is starting to give lotsa readings and work... so i mus jiayou... heh. all of u in sch or working or in ns jiayou too k! take care till i see you....
Monday, September 05, 2005
When My Thoughts Trail
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.
That's the first line he typed in Moulin Rogue.
so queer.
when you love and that person seems not to care.
or when the wrong person seems to care.
do you really learn just to love? and all you do is hope to be loved in return.
do you really just learn to love?
love is an amazing verb. and like all other gestures, it takes practise to better itself.
it's great to love, and be loved in return.
it's greater to still love, when there is no return.
yet it's greatest to love, when there is not even an expectation of a return.
and i am so clearly ashamed and humbled by the speck of love that i boast so dearly, as i search for my dear returns.
That's the first line he typed in Moulin Rogue.
so queer.
when you love and that person seems not to care.
or when the wrong person seems to care.
do you really learn just to love? and all you do is hope to be loved in return.
do you really just learn to love?
love is an amazing verb. and like all other gestures, it takes practise to better itself.
it's great to love, and be loved in return.
it's greater to still love, when there is no return.
yet it's greatest to love, when there is not even an expectation of a return.
and i am so clearly ashamed and humbled by the speck of love that i boast so dearly, as i search for my dear returns.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
My Dearest Confidant
i wrote horrible stuffs. it was saved as a draft for abt a week, and nope, i am not going to publish it. in fact i just deleted it.
it's so easy to delete things and hide parts of your self in front of others. but God knows. He knows the exact letter i am going to hit, all the wrong spellings, deletings and retypings even before my fingers touch the pad.
and i am so thankful for that...
With Him i express freedom. to be just as i am. to say all the things that's in my mind. i don't feel paiseh with God... i am glad He knows all my thoughts, my bests and my worsts, and it shall remain a secret between Him and me. if any, oopz, typo there, i mean many. if many of my imperfections are revealed, let it be a testimony of His grace, forgiveness, mercy, and love.
"You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God"
how can i refuse such a refuge?
it's so easy to delete things and hide parts of your self in front of others. but God knows. He knows the exact letter i am going to hit, all the wrong spellings, deletings and retypings even before my fingers touch the pad.
and i am so thankful for that...
With Him i express freedom. to be just as i am. to say all the things that's in my mind. i don't feel paiseh with God... i am glad He knows all my thoughts, my bests and my worsts, and it shall remain a secret between Him and me. if any, oopz, typo there, i mean many. if many of my imperfections are revealed, let it be a testimony of His grace, forgiveness, mercy, and love.
"You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God"
how can i refuse such a refuge?
Monday, July 25, 2005
Most Stayest
O satisfaction
where have your eyes flee?
your hands they grope
Satisfaction cries
out
yet silenced
for your voice too left
beyond your fingers. right
and right and you kept right
O pride!
till you turn
and return to the blind, to the dumb.
O satisfaction
where have your eyes flee?
O soul's satisfaction
can you breathe within, down, up to the one who stays?
where have your eyes flee?
your hands they grope
Satisfaction cries
out
yet silenced
for your voice too left
beyond your fingers. right
and right and you kept right
O pride!
till you turn
and return to the blind, to the dumb.
O satisfaction
where have your eyes flee?
O soul's satisfaction
can you breathe within, down, up to the one who stays?
Friday, July 22, 2005
I Need Your Prayer! =P
if all things happen for a reason, i believe this, too. though i know not why. yet.
i have no idea why that guy called, or what pleasure he gained from doing such things. i dun even know him. but it is maddening to know tt people uses good causes and abuses those. actually i was scared when i got the first call a few days ago. today i got the third. but i am not afraid anymore. if i really think abt it, there's nothing much he can do except to call and threaten. it'll be tough to get through the security guards and camera before he gets here. if ever someone is going to follow me or smtgh, i know i wun jus scream for help or cry. i'll run. if there's nowhere else to run i'll surely resist and fight back. hopefully i will never have to do that...
and i believe that guy needs help. pls help me pray for protection and pray for that person to repent and turn to God too...
i have no idea why that guy called, or what pleasure he gained from doing such things. i dun even know him. but it is maddening to know tt people uses good causes and abuses those. actually i was scared when i got the first call a few days ago. today i got the third. but i am not afraid anymore. if i really think abt it, there's nothing much he can do except to call and threaten. it'll be tough to get through the security guards and camera before he gets here. if ever someone is going to follow me or smtgh, i know i wun jus scream for help or cry. i'll run. if there's nowhere else to run i'll surely resist and fight back. hopefully i will never have to do that...
and i believe that guy needs help. pls help me pray for protection and pray for that person to repent and turn to God too...
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
hey all... we must JiAYoU!
been a long time since i see pple say the singapore pledge. the last time was.... back in nj? early in the morning i'll run frm the opp bustop to the side gate, across the track, up the hill, to the back (or front) of the school, look for S12, reached the back of the queue, throw my bag on the floor, just in time for flag raising...
other times i'll take taxi to the main entrance, and stroll my way...
haiz... anyway... when we place our right fist across our heart, it symbolises a pledge, a promise.
our brain is said to be the size of our clenched fist. hopefully our heart is neither bigger nor smaller... anyone can make a promise at any time, thought he/she meant it with all his/her heart at that time, yet can break it all the same at the end. anyone can change how they look, but its hard to change how they think, what they feel. when they do though, its even harder to reverse the change.
we are meant to think and feel and choose beautiful things. but when our heart hurt, and our head throb, let's try to choose this:
don't give up hoping on hope, don't forget to remember love, and have faith in our faithful Maker of these 3...
other times i'll take taxi to the main entrance, and stroll my way...
haiz... anyway... when we place our right fist across our heart, it symbolises a pledge, a promise.
our brain is said to be the size of our clenched fist. hopefully our heart is neither bigger nor smaller... anyone can make a promise at any time, thought he/she meant it with all his/her heart at that time, yet can break it all the same at the end. anyone can change how they look, but its hard to change how they think, what they feel. when they do though, its even harder to reverse the change.
we are meant to think and feel and choose beautiful things. but when our heart hurt, and our head throb, let's try to choose this:
don't give up hoping on hope, don't forget to remember love, and have faith in our faithful Maker of these 3...
Friday, July 15, 2005
Just A Little Crush?
he pulls your pigtail, he notices details about you, gives little glances, sometimes his words come forth as sarcastic and hateful. and you wonder, does he have a crush on you?
she slips surprise candies into your bag, walks the same longer path home, she so hopes to catch a glimpse of you. and she wonders, do you know she has a crush on you?
okok... i actually did the candy thing before. *gAsP*
erm actually, i did alot more silly things before. *GAsP gAsP*
This is a story of a guy who had, and still has a crush on me.
2 days ago, my friends and i were sitting down on the smu quad field. we were looking at the green grass, picturing white roasted pig, squirrel, fish and rabbit running across the blue sky. listening to the crickets and lizards.
then i heard:
"Another summer day
is come and gone away...."
chris and i were listening to Michael Buble's "Home". and i said, "this is so appropiate..."
moments later, i spotted an aeroplane, the kind which leaves a trail of cloud behind... and i shouted "look! aeroplane!"
then we heard:
"...another aeroplane
another sunny place..."
and both our jaws dropped.
Ever notice how He teases you?
2 weeks ago, i was scorching under the sun, and was whining to Him about how hot it was... and guess wat. a huge cloud came over and shaded me. instantly.
He must have loved to see the look on my face.
and i bet He has more than just a little crush on you and me...
she slips surprise candies into your bag, walks the same longer path home, she so hopes to catch a glimpse of you. and she wonders, do you know she has a crush on you?
okok... i actually did the candy thing before. *gAsP*
erm actually, i did alot more silly things before. *GAsP gAsP*
This is a story of a guy who had, and still has a crush on me.
2 days ago, my friends and i were sitting down on the smu quad field. we were looking at the green grass, picturing white roasted pig, squirrel, fish and rabbit running across the blue sky. listening to the crickets and lizards.
then i heard:
"Another summer day
is come and gone away...."
chris and i were listening to Michael Buble's "Home". and i said, "this is so appropiate..."
moments later, i spotted an aeroplane, the kind which leaves a trail of cloud behind... and i shouted "look! aeroplane!"
then we heard:
"...another aeroplane
another sunny place..."
and both our jaws dropped.
Ever notice how He teases you?
2 weeks ago, i was scorching under the sun, and was whining to Him about how hot it was... and guess wat. a huge cloud came over and shaded me. instantly.
He must have loved to see the look on my face.
and i bet He has more than just a little crush on you and me...
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Everything is Made Beautiful in His Time
"God is God, and i am a girl.
saw Race to the Altar advertisement on TV just now. i know Jesus is the groom waiting for me to reach the altar. It's nice to think that i'm His bride. Even if there's others. but still... i'm His bride too. heh... this'll be weird for a man to imagine....
anyway, ya, racing to the altar. brides always walk down extra slowly on the isle... bet they are yearning to run instead. so exciting to be wed! duno y must walk so slow... if we can run, it'll be so much faster to reach the groom who's waiting there for us at the altar! i can imagine Jesus waiting for me... smiling and holding out His hand... as i reach the altar. heh... kinda excited thinking abt it.. but i duno if i'll be walking or running. i think i'll be running ba... lifting up my long puffy gown a little higher above my ankle so i can run without tripping. and high heels! i duno y gals must wear high heels! it's so painful! i guess it looks elegant and all... but it still hurts! esp when i have to stand for more than half an hour. o well....
if i run to the altar it'll take less than a few mins, so it wun hurt then... at least not so much.
i'll reach the altar, finally!
breathless... smiling, grinning!
i'll look messy but happy!
That'll be nice... =)"
tts something i wrote abt more than a year ago... heh. it's so funny to read things i penned down so long ago... as i read past letters, diaries, notes, etc, i see changes in my thoughts, in the way i talk and write... at the same time i see similar prayers, struggles, same traits.
i was so impatient and i still am. impatient to get a job. impatient to know who's the one. impatient to love. impatient to make decisions. impatient to wait. impatient to grow up! jus like jenna in 13 going 30...
i have repeated the same lesson on patience for so many times! and i realise God is not just interested in what i'll become at the end. He's also interested in the things i learn during the process of getting there. as He always says, everything is made beautiful in His time... and this is a beautiful time to wait.
"it's good to run... =)
but it's also good to take a walk at other times... a slow walk. it's great to slow down and relish all that is good- all of His works.
God is good."
saw Race to the Altar advertisement on TV just now. i know Jesus is the groom waiting for me to reach the altar. It's nice to think that i'm His bride. Even if there's others. but still... i'm His bride too. heh... this'll be weird for a man to imagine....
anyway, ya, racing to the altar. brides always walk down extra slowly on the isle... bet they are yearning to run instead. so exciting to be wed! duno y must walk so slow... if we can run, it'll be so much faster to reach the groom who's waiting there for us at the altar! i can imagine Jesus waiting for me... smiling and holding out His hand... as i reach the altar. heh... kinda excited thinking abt it.. but i duno if i'll be walking or running. i think i'll be running ba... lifting up my long puffy gown a little higher above my ankle so i can run without tripping. and high heels! i duno y gals must wear high heels! it's so painful! i guess it looks elegant and all... but it still hurts! esp when i have to stand for more than half an hour. o well....
if i run to the altar it'll take less than a few mins, so it wun hurt then... at least not so much.
i'll reach the altar, finally!
breathless... smiling, grinning!
i'll look messy but happy!
That'll be nice... =)"
tts something i wrote abt more than a year ago... heh. it's so funny to read things i penned down so long ago... as i read past letters, diaries, notes, etc, i see changes in my thoughts, in the way i talk and write... at the same time i see similar prayers, struggles, same traits.
i was so impatient and i still am. impatient to get a job. impatient to know who's the one. impatient to love. impatient to make decisions. impatient to wait. impatient to grow up! jus like jenna in 13 going 30...
i have repeated the same lesson on patience for so many times! and i realise God is not just interested in what i'll become at the end. He's also interested in the things i learn during the process of getting there. as He always says, everything is made beautiful in His time... and this is a beautiful time to wait.
"it's good to run... =)
but it's also good to take a walk at other times... a slow walk. it's great to slow down and relish all that is good- all of His works.
God is good."
Monday, June 27, 2005
Still
Still
by Rueben Morgan, Hillsong.
Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king above the flood
I will be still, and know You are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust
"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10.
one of my favourite verses... =)
by Rueben Morgan, Hillsong.
Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king above the flood
I will be still, and know You are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust
"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10.
one of my favourite verses... =)
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Re-Rewind
congratz dajie and hendy for your ROM!!! =)
i'm having a hard time to start writing my blog again. i said that hols has been superb so far. and it really is. i enjoyed myself so much in indo that sometimes i feel guilty. i wonder how my maid felt when she had to bring the load of shopping bags to my room. i hear so much about my friends going for mission trips, church camps, work etc etc... while there i was, slacking my time away.
indo is always a great place for me to rest and have fun. i get to go back there at least twice a year. and its a period where i really get to spend time with my family.
i'm the kind of girl who needs a break once in a while. let's say i've been too stressed out with school, i'll stay at home even it means i'm skipping class. if i've been going out to play consecutively for days, i'll also choose to stay at home for at least one whole day by myself. i love being with people but i also like to spend time by myself. you can catch me talking alot at one moment, i'll be quieter at the next, especially when i'm in a crowd.
so when summer hols came, i thought yay! i am going to go back indonesia to have a break from eVEryTHIng! from school, ccas, from msn, from all my loves, desires and responsibilities in singapore. just for one month. on the other hand, i did not want to play too long in indo, cus i know i needed a break even from vacation. 4 months is waay too long.
i didn't realise though, that when i wanted to lose contact with everything here, i lost contact with God. that's horrible. if there's one thing we do not take a break from, its God. its like breathing. we never take a break from breathing. ditto for God. we need Him all the time. and silly me, who had all the time in her world began to do things on her own. without Him. i had all these great plans mapped out in my head, all the things i said i wanted to do during hols. then while i was free, i slacked even the slightest things i could do. like praying. reading His word. that's all that i didn't do with all my heart, and half-heartedness is all it took to keep me apart from God.
not that i can do anything to change the time that has passed. but lince, start writing your blog again, and stop walking by youself. walk with God. even when things seem alright and great, you still need Him each day. don't take Him for granted. it really hurts not to be with God. and you are really too proud and not wise enough to live by your own anyway.
i'm having a hard time to start writing my blog again. i said that hols has been superb so far. and it really is. i enjoyed myself so much in indo that sometimes i feel guilty. i wonder how my maid felt when she had to bring the load of shopping bags to my room. i hear so much about my friends going for mission trips, church camps, work etc etc... while there i was, slacking my time away.
indo is always a great place for me to rest and have fun. i get to go back there at least twice a year. and its a period where i really get to spend time with my family.
i'm the kind of girl who needs a break once in a while. let's say i've been too stressed out with school, i'll stay at home even it means i'm skipping class. if i've been going out to play consecutively for days, i'll also choose to stay at home for at least one whole day by myself. i love being with people but i also like to spend time by myself. you can catch me talking alot at one moment, i'll be quieter at the next, especially when i'm in a crowd.
so when summer hols came, i thought yay! i am going to go back indonesia to have a break from eVEryTHIng! from school, ccas, from msn, from all my loves, desires and responsibilities in singapore. just for one month. on the other hand, i did not want to play too long in indo, cus i know i needed a break even from vacation. 4 months is waay too long.
i didn't realise though, that when i wanted to lose contact with everything here, i lost contact with God. that's horrible. if there's one thing we do not take a break from, its God. its like breathing. we never take a break from breathing. ditto for God. we need Him all the time. and silly me, who had all the time in her world began to do things on her own. without Him. i had all these great plans mapped out in my head, all the things i said i wanted to do during hols. then while i was free, i slacked even the slightest things i could do. like praying. reading His word. that's all that i didn't do with all my heart, and half-heartedness is all it took to keep me apart from God.
not that i can do anything to change the time that has passed. but lince, start writing your blog again, and stop walking by youself. walk with God. even when things seem alright and great, you still need Him each day. don't take Him for granted. it really hurts not to be with God. and you are really too proud and not wise enough to live by your own anyway.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Melody of You
Matt Slocum's Melody of You.
performed by Sixpence None the Richer.
You're a painting with symbols deep
A symphony, soft as it shifts from dark beneath
A poem that flows, caressing my skin
In all of these things you reside
And I want to flow from the pen, bow, and brush
Then paper, string, and canvas touch
With ink in the air to dust your light
From morning 'til the black of night
This is my call, I belong to You
This is my call, to sing the melodies of You
This is my call, I can do nothing else
I can do nothing else
You're the scent of an unfound bloom
A simple tune, I only write variations to
A drink that will knock me down on the floor
A key that will unlock the door
Where I hear a voice sing familiar themes
Then beckons me weave notes in between
A bow and a string, a tap and a glass
You pour me, 'til the day has passed
This is my call I belong to You
This is my call to sing the melodies of You
This is my call I can do nothing else
I can do nothing else
performed by Sixpence None the Richer.
You're a painting with symbols deep
A symphony, soft as it shifts from dark beneath
A poem that flows, caressing my skin
In all of these things you reside
And I want to flow from the pen, bow, and brush
Then paper, string, and canvas touch
With ink in the air to dust your light
From morning 'til the black of night
This is my call, I belong to You
This is my call, to sing the melodies of You
This is my call, I can do nothing else
I can do nothing else
You're the scent of an unfound bloom
A simple tune, I only write variations to
A drink that will knock me down on the floor
A key that will unlock the door
Where I hear a voice sing familiar themes
Then beckons me weave notes in between
A bow and a string, a tap and a glass
You pour me, 'til the day has passed
This is my call I belong to You
This is my call to sing the melodies of You
This is my call I can do nothing else
I can do nothing else
Friday, June 10, 2005
At Present
back in singapore with an extra 1.5 kg, 3 huge pimples, numberless white heads and mosquito bites.
hmmz.
haiz...........................................
other than that, the past 1 month ++ has been superb. =)
hmmz.
haiz...........................................
other than that, the past 1 month ++ has been superb. =)
Thursday, April 28, 2005
My Failing Eyes
some people are so unlovable. i cant stand it when they do the things they do. it irks.
then again, i am reminded that somehow in some ways God never fails to see the beauty in them. even when i fail to do so.
people say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
thank God for that.
because the beholder is You- i am beautiful.
pls help me see them through Your eyes...
then again, i am reminded that somehow in some ways God never fails to see the beauty in them. even when i fail to do so.
people say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
thank God for that.
because the beholder is You- i am beautiful.
pls help me see them through Your eyes...
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Wishlist
end of term 2. which means i am not going to be a freshman anymore. time really flies...
Things to do for the next 4 months (and beyond...):
go back indonesia...
to eat. kho tavern! grilled chicken with amiyaki sauce... i miss you!!!
to shop. ITC. kelapa gading mal.
to read indo comics.
to play my clavinova.
to slp on my bed in ptk. i miss my bear.
to see my family... esp. tuaku and his family. hopefully i can go visit them in surabaya.
oh, most imptly, i'm going back to jkt to fulfil a mission with wil. heh...
after 1 month, go back singapore...
to find a job. hopefully i can work in a christian bookstore... then i can enjoy the music all day long! heh. and browse thru those books when i am free. hmmz... or SPH. i dun mind any job there really. *cRosS FiNgERz*
to dance! somewhere....
to play piano.
to train tkd. must at least be able to do switch-kick smoothly!
to train ld. ooh i finally got to touch drums last night... heh.
in all e things i do... may i walk in Your ways and fix my eyes on You.
Things to do for the next 4 months (and beyond...):
go back indonesia...
to eat. kho tavern! grilled chicken with amiyaki sauce... i miss you!!!
to shop. ITC. kelapa gading mal.
to read indo comics.
to play my clavinova.
to slp on my bed in ptk. i miss my bear.
to see my family... esp. tuaku and his family. hopefully i can go visit them in surabaya.
oh, most imptly, i'm going back to jkt to fulfil a mission with wil. heh...
after 1 month, go back singapore...
to find a job. hopefully i can work in a christian bookstore... then i can enjoy the music all day long! heh. and browse thru those books when i am free. hmmz... or SPH. i dun mind any job there really. *cRosS FiNgERz*
to dance! somewhere....
to play piano.
to train tkd. must at least be able to do switch-kick smoothly!
to train ld. ooh i finally got to touch drums last night... heh.
in all e things i do... may i walk in Your ways and fix my eyes on You.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Barely
I'm barely breathing as I reach for the air. Not really. I'm not reaching for the air. I'm holding my own breath.
I'm barely breathing as I reach for the fallen leaves. Orange leaves. I love orange leaves. But they always fall. And i can't catch them. The more i clutch unto them, the faster they crush, and they fade.
I'm barely breathing as I reach for your hand. But my hands are full of candies. sweet chocolate candies that melt. I can't reach you with a hand that's already filled.
lince ah lince...
I'm barely breathing as I reach for the fallen leaves. Orange leaves. I love orange leaves. But they always fall. And i can't catch them. The more i clutch unto them, the faster they crush, and they fade.
I'm barely breathing as I reach for your hand. But my hands are full of candies. sweet chocolate candies that melt. I can't reach you with a hand that's already filled.
lince ah lince...
Thursday, April 07, 2005
The Two Sisters
what happens when you have gastric before your presentation? you asked permission to go home after you finish.
what happens when you walk out of class, you realised that its raining, and you have no umbrella? you call a friend to ask if she has one.
what if she says no? she asked you to mt her at the lobby with another friend.
you then walked to the lobby, and u realise one was waiting for you, the other went to grab a hot milo for you. because you cant walk down the hill to the bustop, they waited together at the lobby for a taxi. you then realised that they were studying, and you are taking up their time. alot of their time (took super long for the taxi to come). but they still continued to hang around anyway.
just want to appreciate the two lovely sisters who were with me this afternoon... hUGz... thanx christie, thanx yinghui.... =)
what happens when you walk out of class, you realised that its raining, and you have no umbrella? you call a friend to ask if she has one.
what if she says no? she asked you to mt her at the lobby with another friend.
you then walked to the lobby, and u realise one was waiting for you, the other went to grab a hot milo for you. because you cant walk down the hill to the bustop, they waited together at the lobby for a taxi. you then realised that they were studying, and you are taking up their time. alot of their time (took super long for the taxi to come). but they still continued to hang around anyway.
just want to appreciate the two lovely sisters who were with me this afternoon... hUGz... thanx christie, thanx yinghui.... =)
Monday, April 04, 2005
Indescribable
Chris Tomlin's Indescribable
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Phonemes Words Sentences
sometimes there's so much that i want to express, but my words fail. i slur my thoughts away. it's not as if i have alot to say actually... hmmz... ultimately, there's only one thing that needs to be said.
the reason that i'm sleeping peacefully.
for all sinners, that's such a thing called hell. we are all sinners. but thankfully i'm going the other way. did i mention that for all sinners there's also a saviour? His name is Jesus.
the reason that i'm sleeping peacefully.
for all sinners, that's such a thing called hell. we are all sinners. but thankfully i'm going the other way. did i mention that for all sinners there's also a saviour? His name is Jesus.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Purely Love
pure love...
that's actually a pleonasm (mr whitby, i got that right! heh). i think love itself is pure. =)
and i really want to love with purity...
a month ago, my parents wish me "希望你找到好对象" during chinese new year. ok, i dun even know if i'm writing the right characters... but the gist is, they wished that i'll find my Someone, or at least find someone good for me? direct translation. it is the first time ever in my whole entire life that they wished me that. i was like... whoa.
then, my mom had this dream about some guy coming over to my house to see my parents... and THEN my bROther has this dream that i wanted to get married at 19. and my parents said ok. my brother said no. i think he freaked out in the dream. my father thinks that those are signs that i have a boyfriend... i think my family is really cute...
how untimely... just when i decided that no, i'm not getting myself into relationships, at least not for now. i think i'm not ready. i think i'm still too self-centred.
when 2 people get into a relationship, it is because he loves her for who she is. she loves him for who he is. i want to love him because of who he is, not simply because he is nice to me, therefore i shall be nice to him. a rlshp should not be just about Me. whether he has loved me enough, pleased me enough, give me enough. that's selfish love. and i don't believe in love that's selfish. or self-seeking. if i love someone, my focus should be on him. not me. tough right... that's why i feel i'm not ready.
here's e definition of love from 1 Cor 13.
"love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast. it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
love never fails."
love is patient... so there's a time where we wait.
love is kind... so we are compassionate. and we do not judge or condemn e other.
love does not envy... so we trust him. or her.
love does not boast. it is not proud... so we humble ourselves. and respect the other.
love is not rude... so we take courtesy especiallywith our family, when we already know each other so well. we don't take each other for granted.
love is not self-seeking...
love is not easily angered... patience! and self-control...
love keeps no record of wrongs... that's where forgiveness comes in... this is also tough...
love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth... that's where we help each other and support each other to hold on to the truth, to goodness, to God.
it always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres....
love never fails...
heh. love is so great isnt it? it's not just about love between a couple, but love in families, friends, colleages, project mates... etc.
and... love is pure. i dont want to look at a guy and think of him as a potential boyfriend. i just want to treat him like how Jesus will treat His friend. purely with love! =)
that's actually a pleonasm (mr whitby, i got that right! heh). i think love itself is pure. =)
and i really want to love with purity...
a month ago, my parents wish me "希望你找到好对象" during chinese new year. ok, i dun even know if i'm writing the right characters... but the gist is, they wished that i'll find my Someone, or at least find someone good for me? direct translation. it is the first time ever in my whole entire life that they wished me that. i was like... whoa.
then, my mom had this dream about some guy coming over to my house to see my parents... and THEN my bROther has this dream that i wanted to get married at 19. and my parents said ok. my brother said no. i think he freaked out in the dream. my father thinks that those are signs that i have a boyfriend... i think my family is really cute...
how untimely... just when i decided that no, i'm not getting myself into relationships, at least not for now. i think i'm not ready. i think i'm still too self-centred.
when 2 people get into a relationship, it is because he loves her for who she is. she loves him for who he is. i want to love him because of who he is, not simply because he is nice to me, therefore i shall be nice to him. a rlshp should not be just about Me. whether he has loved me enough, pleased me enough, give me enough. that's selfish love. and i don't believe in love that's selfish. or self-seeking. if i love someone, my focus should be on him. not me. tough right... that's why i feel i'm not ready.
here's e definition of love from 1 Cor 13.
"love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast. it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
love never fails."
love is patient... so there's a time where we wait.
love is kind... so we are compassionate. and we do not judge or condemn e other.
love does not envy... so we trust him. or her.
love does not boast. it is not proud... so we humble ourselves. and respect the other.
love is not rude... so we take courtesy especiallywith our family, when we already know each other so well. we don't take each other for granted.
love is not self-seeking...
love is not easily angered... patience! and self-control...
love keeps no record of wrongs... that's where forgiveness comes in... this is also tough...
love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth... that's where we help each other and support each other to hold on to the truth, to goodness, to God.
it always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres....
love never fails...
heh. love is so great isnt it? it's not just about love between a couple, but love in families, friends, colleages, project mates... etc.
and... love is pure. i dont want to look at a guy and think of him as a potential boyfriend. i just want to treat him like how Jesus will treat His friend. purely with love! =)
Monday, February 28, 2005
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Have a Kit Kat
been really busy.......................................................
and it's supposed to be my break week!!!
but thank God that all my mid terms are over (except for psych midterm 2)... thank God for psych1 results... it's really by God's grace... guessing and getting it right etc. again for yesterdays bgs open book... i only read thru the summaries of the chapters one nite before, but somehow can find most of the terms when i was flipping... pHEw. i really dun deserve it... but thank You... =) heh...
hmm for the past 2 weeks...
besides studies, first time went along with the rest of lion dance pple to perform... though i only did cymbals, and carry stuffs, pull trolley etc... heh... that is so far frm playing e drums rite... but its fun! but its also tiring...
tkd trainings are worse.... sometimes i duno y i am getting myself into all these bruises. but tkd is fun.... heh. o well... fiNALly... tmr is e day!.... pray for me... heh. i have been getting butterflies in e stomach since i watched e matches today...
if there is one thing i learn abt e comp, it is tt everything is unpredicatable. u duno how the opponents are gg to spar...anD u duno how the referees are going to judge u...
10 more hours to my first match!
and it's supposed to be my break week!!!
but thank God that all my mid terms are over (except for psych midterm 2)... thank God for psych1 results... it's really by God's grace... guessing and getting it right etc. again for yesterdays bgs open book... i only read thru the summaries of the chapters one nite before, but somehow can find most of the terms when i was flipping... pHEw. i really dun deserve it... but thank You... =) heh...
hmm for the past 2 weeks...
besides studies, first time went along with the rest of lion dance pple to perform... though i only did cymbals, and carry stuffs, pull trolley etc... heh... that is so far frm playing e drums rite... but its fun! but its also tiring...
tkd trainings are worse.... sometimes i duno y i am getting myself into all these bruises. but tkd is fun.... heh. o well... fiNALly... tmr is e day!.... pray for me... heh. i have been getting butterflies in e stomach since i watched e matches today...
if there is one thing i learn abt e comp, it is tt everything is unpredicatable. u duno how the opponents are gg to spar...anD u duno how the referees are going to judge u...
10 more hours to my first match!
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Thank You
"Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful
and the end of mirth, is heaviness."
prov 14:13. how true...
sometimes our hearts are aching, but our faces are smiling. and how naturally...
there're so many things in the world that are saddening.
everyday there're reports of sufferings... babies are killed, trafficked. there're deaths. there's the tsunami victims. murders. accidents.etc... on the personal level, there's disappointments. fears. sufferings. loss. betrayal. tears. -you name it-.
do you still smile inspite of all these mis-experiences? i am sure you can and you do. i know i can... but how about a real smile? let's call it the "say-peace-smile"... heh. not the kind of smile when we take photos and we say "peace"at the count of 3. but the kind where... hmmz... i know that everything IS ok, and in control... because everything is in His hands. there's really a sense of comfort in knowing that. and of course, a sense of peace...
besides, there are an equal or more no. of things that are better and are good! things that are sweet. happy. lovely. praiseworthy. n to be thankful for. n i just want to say... thank you! =)
thank you papa mama, and wil... for all the love... you all are the ones who have seen my very worst. really... yet you continue to love me! =)
thank you friends... and yes, that's most likely you who are reading this. heh. for teaching me so much about life! and yes, thank you for loving me too... =P
thank You Father!
for Your love... that is beyond imagination. for making me the apple in Your eyes, the princess in Your courts, and the beauty of Your creation.
for all the dreams that i have... all the hopes and desires that You inspired... and the heartbeat that i feel. thank You for this wonderful walk...
for beauty... for sunrise and sunsets, falling leaves, rain, the sun, and the wind, for even-breathing, warmth, laughter, innocence, all the colours that i see, rainbows, people! =)
thank You that i wake up each day knowing that i am not alone... that You are always in my heart, even when i feel that You are so far away... You are not.
Thank You for trials and bad things... it makes me grow up. *lince gives a say-peace smile* i know You are purifying and moulding me. to be beautiful! heh. inside out. so as to reflect YOUR beauty...
thank You for Your strength... esp when i am weak, and i fret.
for faith... for being so faithful to me... and not ever giving up even when i failed You so many times... and for making me be able to believe in what i do not see...
thank You for being honest to me, and risked Yourself being misunderstood...
thank YOu for Your grace... and all the little gifts that You give... so sweet of You!
thank You... for all that You have blessed me with. =)
ok does it sound like i'm at some oscar-winning stage giving my thank you speech? hahaha... okokz... you can stop throwing eggs at me.........................
and the end of mirth, is heaviness."
prov 14:13. how true...
sometimes our hearts are aching, but our faces are smiling. and how naturally...
there're so many things in the world that are saddening.
everyday there're reports of sufferings... babies are killed, trafficked. there're deaths. there's the tsunami victims. murders. accidents.etc... on the personal level, there's disappointments. fears. sufferings. loss. betrayal. tears. -you name it-.
do you still smile inspite of all these mis-experiences? i am sure you can and you do. i know i can... but how about a real smile? let's call it the "say-peace-smile"... heh. not the kind of smile when we take photos and we say "peace"at the count of 3. but the kind where... hmmz... i know that everything IS ok, and in control... because everything is in His hands. there's really a sense of comfort in knowing that. and of course, a sense of peace...
besides, there are an equal or more no. of things that are better and are good! things that are sweet. happy. lovely. praiseworthy. n to be thankful for. n i just want to say... thank you! =)
thank you papa mama, and wil... for all the love... you all are the ones who have seen my very worst. really... yet you continue to love me! =)
thank you friends... and yes, that's most likely you who are reading this. heh. for teaching me so much about life! and yes, thank you for loving me too... =P
thank You Father!
for Your love... that is beyond imagination. for making me the apple in Your eyes, the princess in Your courts, and the beauty of Your creation.
for all the dreams that i have... all the hopes and desires that You inspired... and the heartbeat that i feel. thank You for this wonderful walk...
for beauty... for sunrise and sunsets, falling leaves, rain, the sun, and the wind, for even-breathing, warmth, laughter, innocence, all the colours that i see, rainbows, people! =)
thank You that i wake up each day knowing that i am not alone... that You are always in my heart, even when i feel that You are so far away... You are not.
Thank You for trials and bad things... it makes me grow up. *lince gives a say-peace smile* i know You are purifying and moulding me. to be beautiful! heh. inside out. so as to reflect YOUR beauty...
thank You for Your strength... esp when i am weak, and i fret.
for faith... for being so faithful to me... and not ever giving up even when i failed You so many times... and for making me be able to believe in what i do not see...
thank You for being honest to me, and risked Yourself being misunderstood...
thank YOu for Your grace... and all the little gifts that You give... so sweet of You!
thank You... for all that You have blessed me with. =)
ok does it sound like i'm at some oscar-winning stage giving my thank you speech? hahaha... okokz... you can stop throwing eggs at me.........................
Monday, January 31, 2005
That Thing I Do
psych is in less than 3 days.
and i am stressed.
hey tt rhymes...
these are the things that i have been doing for e past week or so:
i feel drained... i feel that Lord, i dun have enough love to love so many pple... to just listen to them. there's so many people who have problems, who really need You. and i sincerely want to listen to you and pray for you, but when there's so many problems from diff people added up together, i get tired.... i get impatient when i am on e phone with you... i get irritated when you repeat waht you said. i want to spend time for myself. i want to study for my psych! haiz. i feel that i have so little time... so little love... so little attention that i can give to my friends...
i know tt it is God who FIRST love me so much.... so much more... so abundantly... tTs Y, i can love others... n i can love you. God loves you all so much more than i do... while my love and compassion is so little and finite compared to His. if God may use me, let me love you not with my own inadequate love, but with His. not with my own strength, but His.
if i havent give you enough of my time... i'm sorry k? huGz.
pls rem tt i am imperfect... that i cant be dere all e time. onli God can... so pls expect me to disappoint you... pls turn to God first and always, when u are up, or when u are down... cus He dun disappoint... n i do.
and i am stressed.
hey tt rhymes...
these are the things that i have been doing for e past week or so:
- late for appointments. (not new.)
- woke up on wed morning, checked my emails at 10. n realised that i have to attend a conference on wed at 8.30... and yes, that wednesday was the very supposed day.
worse things i have been doing:
- receive an sms in the morning. reply late at night.
- receive an sms. nv reply at all.
- promise a friend that i'll call her for lunch on friday, and i didnt.
- promise another friend that i'll have lunch with her, but i forgot. and i asked another friend for lunch instead.
i feel drained... i feel that Lord, i dun have enough love to love so many pple... to just listen to them. there's so many people who have problems, who really need You. and i sincerely want to listen to you and pray for you, but when there's so many problems from diff people added up together, i get tired.... i get impatient when i am on e phone with you... i get irritated when you repeat waht you said. i want to spend time for myself. i want to study for my psych! haiz. i feel that i have so little time... so little love... so little attention that i can give to my friends...
i know tt it is God who FIRST love me so much.... so much more... so abundantly... tTs Y, i can love others... n i can love you. God loves you all so much more than i do... while my love and compassion is so little and finite compared to His. if God may use me, let me love you not with my own inadequate love, but with His. not with my own strength, but His.
if i havent give you enough of my time... i'm sorry k? huGz.
pls rem tt i am imperfect... that i cant be dere all e time. onli God can... so pls expect me to disappoint you... pls turn to God first and always, when u are up, or when u are down... cus He dun disappoint... n i do.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Practical Prudence
" The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel:
To know wisdom and instruction,
To perceive the words of understanding,
To receive the instruction of wisdom,
Justice, judgment, and equity;
to give prudence to the simple,
To the young man knowledge and discretion--
A wise man will hear and increase learning,
And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,
To understand a proverb and enigma,
The words of the wise and their riddels.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
But fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Prov 1:1-7
ok i am not trying to contradict my previous post...
In the whole of Proverbs, Solomon talks about practical knowledge and advice about God and how we should live our daily lives. there are v practical things such as telling us not be lazy( which was v relevant to me during A's. hee...), etc. but it also tells us that as we live, we should seek wisdom( which is different from practicality) from God (by firstly fearing Him). n again, God's wisdom is way beyond anyone's.
In Ecclesiates,5:2-3, it says:
"Do not be quick with your mouth,
do not be hasty in your heart
to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven
and you are on earth.
so let your words be few.
As a dream comes when there are many cares,
so the speech of a fool when there are many words. "
i am a fool to say so much... my words may misconstrue God's character. so Lord... pls correct me when i'm wrong... and i jus want to ask tt You will grant me Your wisdom to live each day.... and give wisdom and discernment too, to whoever is reading my foolish thoughts...
To know wisdom and instruction,
To perceive the words of understanding,
To receive the instruction of wisdom,
Justice, judgment, and equity;
to give prudence to the simple,
To the young man knowledge and discretion--
A wise man will hear and increase learning,
And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,
To understand a proverb and enigma,
The words of the wise and their riddels.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
But fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Prov 1:1-7
ok i am not trying to contradict my previous post...
In the whole of Proverbs, Solomon talks about practical knowledge and advice about God and how we should live our daily lives. there are v practical things such as telling us not be lazy( which was v relevant to me during A's. hee...), etc. but it also tells us that as we live, we should seek wisdom( which is different from practicality) from God (by firstly fearing Him). n again, God's wisdom is way beyond anyone's.
In Ecclesiates,5:2-3, it says:
"Do not be quick with your mouth,
do not be hasty in your heart
to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven
and you are on earth.
so let your words be few.
As a dream comes when there are many cares,
so the speech of a fool when there are many words. "
i am a fool to say so much... my words may misconstrue God's character. so Lord... pls correct me when i'm wrong... and i jus want to ask tt You will grant me Your wisdom to live each day.... and give wisdom and discernment too, to whoever is reading my foolish thoughts...
Monday, January 24, 2005
it's Practically Him! =)
was talking to yinghui when i realised that i may be misleading some of u when i used "practical" to describe God as One who is beyond practicality...
i associate someone who is practical to do things in the easiest, fastest, and most convenient way possible. it's something tt goes along with being pragmatic, realistic, useful, etc. because of tt, i cannot agree that God is a mere practical God.
However, He is undoubtly a purposeful God. He is soO full of purpose, from the start to the end! I would think that if God is only practical, He would have easily shown Himself in the sky, swirling the fast clouds, and thundered"I am the true God. Repent all of you who sin!"
n we all know God doesnt do that... Instead, He does things in weird wonderful ways. like, he is willing to wait to me for 15 years, before i acknowledge that He is God. =) He may wait a shorter or longer time for you. He even waited for a lifetime for some many of us. but He never gives up waiting for everybody. He waits everyday. for so many days, n so many years. It's been thousands of years since He created us and since Adam and Eve had fallen. that's how long He have waited for us to fellowship in the new heaven. i believe that whatever God is planning and doing, He "saw that it was good", and His reasons are always love, grace, and wisdom, and righteousness. which are far greater than practicality.
if hurt can be measured....
[no. of our days (wat i do today that hurt Him+ what u do today that disappoint Him)] X no. of pple ever lived = how much we have hurt Him.
i guess we may say that a thousand years will mean little to Him who is eternal. but e amount of hurt we are inflicting is... CrAzY! yet He is still so gracious and patient... nv give up on us and all... =)
i associate someone who is practical to do things in the easiest, fastest, and most convenient way possible. it's something tt goes along with being pragmatic, realistic, useful, etc. because of tt, i cannot agree that God is a mere practical God.
However, He is undoubtly a purposeful God. He is soO full of purpose, from the start to the end! I would think that if God is only practical, He would have easily shown Himself in the sky, swirling the fast clouds, and thundered"I am the true God. Repent all of you who sin!"
n we all know God doesnt do that... Instead, He does things in weird wonderful ways. like, he is willing to wait to me for 15 years, before i acknowledge that He is God. =) He may wait a shorter or longer time for you. He even waited for a lifetime for some many of us. but He never gives up waiting for everybody. He waits everyday. for so many days, n so many years. It's been thousands of years since He created us and since Adam and Eve had fallen. that's how long He have waited for us to fellowship in the new heaven. i believe that whatever God is planning and doing, He "saw that it was good", and His reasons are always love, grace, and wisdom, and righteousness. which are far greater than practicality.
if hurt can be measured....
[no. of our days (wat i do today that hurt Him+ what u do today that disappoint Him)] X no. of pple ever lived = how much we have hurt Him.
i guess we may say that a thousand years will mean little to Him who is eternal. but e amount of hurt we are inflicting is... CrAzY! yet He is still so gracious and patient... nv give up on us and all... =)
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Red Orange Yellow
i jus hit myself twice while i was bathing. hit my head against the wall once, and got hit by the shower head once. jus thought it was funny.... heh. but ouCh....
went to 牛车水 wif mama n zu-ce after dinner, n i really had a lovely time... chinatown looks so girlish with all the red, orange, yellow decorations! it's like the chinese version of christmas in orchard. but prettier... maybe it's because everything looks so dainty and the lantern lights feels so warm! they remind me of fireflies. just a bigger version... go there if u have the chance k? =) oh, but go there earlier because it gets overwhelmingly crowded in the later night.
there's so many things i want to tell u! but i'll fill u in another day... mama is slping early. And i am sleeping in her room tonight! heh... haven't done that for a looong time... papa is staying overnight with his brothers somewhere outside... so... i beta off e lights soon.. like now. heh. good nitEz.... choc dreamz.... =)
went to 牛车水 wif mama n zu-ce after dinner, n i really had a lovely time... chinatown looks so girlish with all the red, orange, yellow decorations! it's like the chinese version of christmas in orchard. but prettier... maybe it's because everything looks so dainty and the lantern lights feels so warm! they remind me of fireflies. just a bigger version... go there if u have the chance k? =) oh, but go there earlier because it gets overwhelmingly crowded in the later night.
there's so many things i want to tell u! but i'll fill u in another day... mama is slping early. And i am sleeping in her room tonight! heh... haven't done that for a looong time... papa is staying overnight with his brothers somewhere outside... so... i beta off e lights soon.. like now. heh. good nitEz.... choc dreamz.... =)
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Tales as Such as This
Cinderella
Snow White n e 7 Dwarfs
Sleeping Beauty
Shrek
Beauty and the Beast
Rapunzel
Thumbelina
Aladin
Swan Lake
Little Mermaid
etc etc.
All the above and so much more end with a Happily Ever After...
My all time favourite fairy tale has always been Beauty and the Beast. it's a little different from the rest because Belle did not fell in love with a prince. she was able to see goodness in the heart of a beast, and fell in love with that creature. well... the beast did eventually become a handsome prince. but o well... the point is, she loves him as who he is. =)
Then Shrek2 comes along. so... i have 2 favourites! heh. i watched it once in e cinema, twice on dvd... so far. =P For the benefit of those who have not watched Shrek, Shrek is an ogre. ogres are this supposedly green hideous monsters. Basically at the end of the story, Princess Fiona can choose to remain a pretty princess or an ugly ogress. she can choose to be with Shrek tHE MAn or Shrek the ogre... *guess her choice*
The world is so full of deceit. It tells me that appearances matter more than the heart. Money is better than kindness and love. Signifigance is more significant than humility. All these subtle lies.... pls help me to see right through them!!!!!!!!!!! Lord pls grant me wisdom, so i may choose to live each day, and each moment the way that is pleasing in Your eyes. remind me tt i am living in the world, but am not of the world!
i know that sometimes we have to be practical. and sometimes being practical seems to be the best way to decide something. but human understanding is so limited. God's ways are much higher than ours, and i know my God is more than just a practical God.
i make pple worry... especially my parents and my bro. to them, i seemed too driven by emotions and ideals... but Lord... oh i dont know. i am still learning... each day i am learning.
one day i want to love my Someone for who he is... not because of his looks nor money. though it wouldnt hurt to fall for someone who have a set of crooked teeth (esp if he has vampire teeth!!!) =P. but teeth fall out soon enough... when we get old... so it still doesnt matter. =) it oso wudnt hurt to to fall for someone's who's rich. so tt i can go shopping more often!! haha... seriously... i know that money is needed to buy a house, raise family, have kids... etc etc...
but i really hope that at the end, i can be like Princess Fiona, who can boldly choose to say that "i want to be with the... ogre, whom i fell in love with." =)
Snow White n e 7 Dwarfs
Sleeping Beauty
Shrek
Beauty and the Beast
Rapunzel
Thumbelina
Aladin
Swan Lake
Little Mermaid
etc etc.
All the above and so much more end with a Happily Ever After...
My all time favourite fairy tale has always been Beauty and the Beast. it's a little different from the rest because Belle did not fell in love with a prince. she was able to see goodness in the heart of a beast, and fell in love with that creature. well... the beast did eventually become a handsome prince. but o well... the point is, she loves him as who he is. =)
Then Shrek2 comes along. so... i have 2 favourites! heh. i watched it once in e cinema, twice on dvd... so far. =P For the benefit of those who have not watched Shrek, Shrek is an ogre. ogres are this supposedly green hideous monsters. Basically at the end of the story, Princess Fiona can choose to remain a pretty princess or an ugly ogress. she can choose to be with Shrek tHE MAn or Shrek the ogre... *guess her choice*
The world is so full of deceit. It tells me that appearances matter more than the heart. Money is better than kindness and love. Signifigance is more significant than humility. All these subtle lies.... pls help me to see right through them!!!!!!!!!!! Lord pls grant me wisdom, so i may choose to live each day, and each moment the way that is pleasing in Your eyes. remind me tt i am living in the world, but am not of the world!
i know that sometimes we have to be practical. and sometimes being practical seems to be the best way to decide something. but human understanding is so limited. God's ways are much higher than ours, and i know my God is more than just a practical God.
i make pple worry... especially my parents and my bro. to them, i seemed too driven by emotions and ideals... but Lord... oh i dont know. i am still learning... each day i am learning.
one day i want to love my Someone for who he is... not because of his looks nor money. though it wouldnt hurt to fall for someone who have a set of crooked teeth (esp if he has vampire teeth!!!) =P. but teeth fall out soon enough... when we get old... so it still doesnt matter. =) it oso wudnt hurt to to fall for someone's who's rich. so tt i can go shopping more often!! haha... seriously... i know that money is needed to buy a house, raise family, have kids... etc etc...
but i really hope that at the end, i can be like Princess Fiona, who can boldly choose to say that "i want to be with the... ogre, whom i fell in love with." =)
Monday, January 10, 2005
Official First
yaY!! i feel like this is a play-pretend column on e newspaper or smtgh.... e best thing is, i get to have e wHoLe page by myself... AND i get to write anything i want! which feels great. =)
writing is fun... i love to write! =) but writing is also scary. especially when pple like u are reading this... i am scared that u will laugh at me. i am scared that this page will look like some primary school English composition and you will look down on me when i say i dream of being a journalist. i am scared that my childlish thoughts and insecurities will show through. i am scared that i will become pretentious, where i'll write about someone who's better than who i really am. and i'm scared that i'll misrepresent God.
all i want to do is just to have some fun as i write, hoping to tell a bit of His extraordinary story through mine. The story of an ordinary girl who happens to live at e 8th floor.
writing is fun... i love to write! =) but writing is also scary. especially when pple like u are reading this... i am scared that u will laugh at me. i am scared that this page will look like some primary school English composition and you will look down on me when i say i dream of being a journalist. i am scared that my childlish thoughts and insecurities will show through. i am scared that i will become pretentious, where i'll write about someone who's better than who i really am. and i'm scared that i'll misrepresent God.
all i want to do is just to have some fun as i write, hoping to tell a bit of His extraordinary story through mine. The story of an ordinary girl who happens to live at e 8th floor.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
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