None The Less

Hi, your name is? =)

Today is the official opening of Paya Lebar Wellness Centre (PLWC)- that's where I'm working at the moment. I work with elderlies above 50, and my colleague is this lovely lady who has a big big heart. I also have other colleagues from Hougang Sheng Hong Family Service Centre (HSFSC), but we are located a few blocks away from each other- that's where I've started when I entered Society of Sheng Hong Welfare Services in January. I've just been transferred permanently to PLWC, and I miss them already. i'm in love with kind-hearted people who laugh sincerely.

I sign off as lince, which means lynx in spanish. if you'd google "cat and dog theology", you'd see an interesting analogy of christians as either cats or dogs, and their relationship with God as their master. cats are the self-centred, haughty ones. and lynx, being part of the cat family, is apt because i am distinctly one.

more accurately though, my name is Ellince. El means God in hebrews and unashamedly, apart from El, lince can do nothing.

Well, hi.

Not in order of importance:
you have much if you have:
a life, a job, a family, friends, money, health, happiness.
or if you have:
a life, a job, a family, friends, money and health.
or if you have:
a life, a job, a family, and friends.
or if you have:
a life, a job and a family.
or if you have:
a life and a job.
you will still have much if you have:
a life.

but knowing us, much is never enough. part of it is greed, but most of it is perfection-seeking. we yearn to be completed, satisfied- lacking nothing.

if what you have is only misery:
u are comfortably living below the absolute poverty line, your friends betrayed you, your family left you, your company cheated on you, and each ailing breath you take is physically agonising. you have nothing that the world yearns but a God who is still with you. i say that you lack nothing.

Today, i would like to boast that i have much and that i lack nothing. please remind me of this when i'm old and sickly and alone.

a.b.c.one.two.three

i can't keep quiet.

i distrust my Lord.

He tells me i should eat it, one at a time.

but i decided to juice them. lemon, pineapple, almond nuts, sambal, yam, kueh bangkit and pear. and gulped them with coke.

terrible altogether.

and so i forced myself to puke. to rid. to purge. all of them all at once.

and i did.

but an aftertaste lingers.

Rain Will Come

i've always wanted to name my baby girl Rayne if she's born on a rainy day- Ray- of hope, love, and all of God's goodness encompassed in the rain.
*that is IF, i'm ever going to have a baby girl, AND if, she's ever going to be born on a rainy day.

unchecked.

i've always been so certain about certain things. like writing. i've always loved to write since i was in secondary 2, and've always dreamt to be a writer of some sort after i graduate.

i have graduated. and i've applied to all the companies which i think'll give me tt opportunity. but i've either been rejected or ignored, or maybe i've just been ignorant in whom i shud apply to, and how i shud apply.

unchecked.

i've also always thought that i wanted to stay in singapore after i graduate, at least for a while. i HAVE stayed in singapore, for a while really- 3 months, since august this year.

at the start of nov, my parents asked me to come back to jkt if i still cannot find a job by the end of the month. so i started searching for jobs tts unrelated to writing. i went for a few interviews, and i got rejected.

then last wed my family finally asked me to come back to jkt on the weekend. they assured me it's not permanent, n that i can always look for a job in singapore via the internet. but i suspected my parents wanted me back at home more than just a little a while.

i was panicking (pls dun get me wrong, i dont hate coming back, and i do love to spend time wif my family), only because things are not going according to what i thought was certain.

tt evening, i went to my room and read Ezekiel 24:15-25.

ezekiel was told that the delight of his eyes was going to be taken away. and his wife died the next day.

she was a sign that the strongholds- in which you take pride, the delight of your eyes, the object of your affection, your joy and glory, your heart's desires, your sons and daughters- they will be taken away so you will know that God is God.

i understood then that God wanted to take away all my hearts' desires, my dreams and wants, my love, my all, so that I will know that God is God, and trust that God IS being God- my good God who knows abt every nano-inch of the world and about the unknown.

at 8pm, i got a phone call which offers me a job as a program coordinator in a family service centre (fsc). i accepted it immediately, and i called home.

checking.

today is 3rd of dec, and i'm back in jkt. i came back even though i accepted the job because 1, i already bought the ticket. 2, the fsc has not decided when i am to start.

i was supposed to come back on 29 nov last week n was supposed to go back to sgp today. but i didnt because the fsc remains undecided.

checking.

the point is, i'm not so certain abt many things now.

i wonder if i said yes too soon to the job offer. i wonder if i'll ever get a chance to write like how i imagined i would. i wonder if God's best plan for me is drawn in Indonesia or somewhere else. i wonder if i'll ever have a baby girl, and i wonder if my baby girl will be born on a rainy day.

checked.

i wonder if i'll ever find true love like those we watch on movies and fairy tales. not everyone do.

and as i wonder and ponder, i realised that i already found true love. and that true love is all around, displayed everywhere, n proclaimed every moment.

"If clouds are full of water,
they pour rain upon the earth.
Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north,
in the place where it falls, there will it lie."
- eccletiastes 11:3.

Love Them Like Jesus

by Casting Crowns.

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus

i'm writing with such heavy hands. i'm guilty... of not writing about the many goodness of God, abt the lessons He taught me so graciously, for i am ashamed of my struggles, n i am ashamed of how i write. all the more i feel guilty because i care more abt me n my writing, than abt building a memorial for the most beautiful thing on earth, i chose to risk forgetting my Lord who has faithfully carried me through this season.

i need to click on 'publish post' now.

Himitsu

- showing off the little jap tt i learnt in class. haha.

I'm too lazy to google and check its source, but this is definitely frm a song:

the secret of life is letting go
the secret of love is letting it show.

some secrets remain as secrets because we hide the truth.
others remain as secrets because we dont bother to find out.
some secrets become open secrets, but we remain oblivious.

life and love are not so shy.
the giver of them all are not so shy.

Public and Private

Teach me, good Lord: Not to murmur at multitude of business or shortness of time. Not to magnify undertaken duties by seeming to suffer under them, but to treat all as liberties and gladnesses. Not to call attention to crowded work, or petty fatiques. Not to gather encouragement from appreciation by others, lest this should interfere with purity of motive. Not to seek praise, respect, gratitude, or regard from superiors or equals on account of age or past service. Not to let myself be placed in favourable contrast with another. We pray in Christ' name. Amen.

- Edward W. Benson

December Once More

it's hard to type when my fingers are rusty.

hee.

first of all, merry christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nope, no snow for me this year. my family and mel's went to bandung yesterday and it made me realise that i have not realised the beauty of my own home country.

if i understood correctly, we went there with at least two tasks at hand. one was to shop- that was done quite effortlessly as there're countless factory outlets besides our hotel. another was to watch the night scene of Bandung in an uphill restaurant called the "Valley"- that too, was quite easy with friendly locals giving us the right directions throughout our journey. the view we saw was enjoyable except for the slight rain which hindered us a little.

in accomplishing the two, we had to complete a third task during the two-day trip: driving between jakarta and bandung (if you are asking, no, i wasnt the one driving.)

this particular task, to my very delight, involved an unexpected scenic drive of terraced rice fields, coned straw hats, miniature creeks, tall lean trees with round almost balding crowns, harvested tea fields, short fat mountains with much taller but still fat mountains at the background. plus, blue blue sky on the first day; big big clouds on the second.

isnt it wonderful? all of them displaying and declaring His name aloud. i thought for that moment that what i was seeing is as good as snow. butttt...... i take that thought back. with all its novelty, snow is still on top on my favourite-things-list.

so that's my christmas. =)

in one psalm, david says, i love You O LORD, my strength.

i think i love God too.

just the other day, there was a star that came so close to earth, i stole it. because i knew that God knew, i reasoned that the star must have been there for me to take.

stars, by their very nature, are not meant to be kept. they are meant to be gifts. so i considered carefully and eagerly of whom i shall present the star to. but no matter how hard i thought, i could not find anyone suitable.

quite forlorn, i decided very reluctantly to put the star back into the heavens. i think i must have missed its position because it looked a little lopsided today. that made me feel worse.

i said sorry to God, and asked if i could present the star as a gift to God himself, but how could i? when the star belonged to God in the first place.

Meanwhile higher up, a sister of that star glowed and glowed, and glowed so much that it looked like it was about to burst. i couldnt help noticing her even while i was feeling so pitiful. without any warning, it did burst! i was so shocked to see it fall so gracefully afterwards, and God picked it up midair and presented it to a girl whom i do not know at this time but am sure to know and love in the New Land.

then it dawned upon me that stars are gifts because God first present it to their rightful owners to give it to another, in His time. If one day you ever watch a funny looking lopsided star falling, i hope you'll also get to see me receiving it with grace this time.

it's december once more!

there are many things to tell as usual, but time passes so quickly, and i'm slumbering my words. i went for a HongKong trip with partner, choon, ger, andy and darren early this month, and i cant wait to see all the photos! it was so fun, i'll have to show you the photos the next time round.

oh, and if you're wondering why i havent been online, my IBM laptop died on me during the sem. i was quoted almost $1400 for it so i delayed the repair and finally decided to get a new HP instead. it's still brand new considering i've only used it for a week before exams and it's now resting in singapore while i'm here.

and, i have moved. i'm now staying with three cousins, and telling you what kind of adjustment it means to have three adolescents at home will take another long long merry and not so merry post. when my aunt first decided to come and look for a place in sgp, one of the first things that cross my mind was the need to change for a blog address since i'm not going to stay on the eighth floor anymore. but as it is, my new home coincidentally turned out to be on the eight floor, so i'm still an eighthfloorgirl. ;)

good night, sleep tight, and chocolate dreams...

The Only Fount' I Know

hands tremble from lack of oxygen
is there any one who is able to sit up, upright by himself?
and stand, withstand-
ing.

the Lord is my strength, and my saviour.
He never leaves me forsaken.
it's grace i'm breathing and love i'm living.

Oceans will part

"as You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
my heart will find praise
and i'll delight in Your way"

Stealing Some Time

week 3.
1/4 of my internship will be over by the end of this week.
fast right?

heh thanks for helping me find the car name in my previous post. actually that story only has 3 lines:
Line 1-> X spotted this car on Date X, time X, at place X.

Line 2-> X says " XXX ".

Line 3-> STOMP checked it out and this car is Name X.

and i had to spend one hour just to write that last line...........

i tried googling and all, but all cars look the same to me, and i couldnt decide which car looks like which. so i went msn and asked partner if she knows.... thank God. cus partner gave me a very good advice: "um, i think you should ask the guys."

yupz. so i did.

thanks wil for answering my email during work... thanks MY, norman, bear for helping... and thanks anonymous (ok, maybe you are a girl) for the website... =)

well, how has my intern been?
good and bad... like all things.

Good
because i am learning so many things.
i was asked to write 2 blog entries on my first day. that was easy cus i jus copy-n-paste from here... haha...
on my second day, they started to give me stories to write. if you check out Singapore Seen in http://www.stomp.com.sg/, that's where most of the stories are.

on the slowest day, i write 1 (that's today. that's y i can afford to blog now =P), on my busiest day i wrote 8. some stories are just a 3-liner like the car article. some stories are more interesting... like fire, etc.

my name's nowhere to be found, but i'm good with tt.
writing is fun stuff.

Not So Good
cus it's tough.
heh at least that's what i feel.
all the stories that i write go through the content producers, or what they call webknowledgists, and the editor.

on the first few days, when i see my stories online i feel so sim tia (heart pain). cus after they are filtered through the producers, the writings dun look like mine anymore... heh. but now i'm beginning to recognise familiar sentences.

they taught me how to write stories properly... there are rules i need to follow cus i cant write like i do here. i'm seriously learning everything from scratch. n that's good too. =)

Some Things I Learnt:
1. first line- always give the summary of the article.
2. don't use long words. keep it simple.
3. one paragraph can only have 2 lines.
4. 0-9 must be written in letters as "zero-nine". only write in numerics if it's more than ten.
5. diff producers look out for diff things. sometimes contradicting things. need to know who u are sending your stuffs to, then follow suit.
6. online dictionaries are extremely useful. my fav is www.thefreedictionary.com. i NEED to have a thesauraus.

Is there any more words you can add for each line?
1. inconsiderate, uncourteous, selfish, thoughtless,
2. shocked, stunned, filled with disbelief, struck dumbfounded, appalled, amazed

hey wil... pls help... or anyone... it's a mitsuoka car... but i need to know the model... someone sent in a pic and said it looks like rolls royce...
thanks!!!

Centre of Dreams

heehee.... so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cus... sph called today and said i got my internship! yAy!!! heh. =))the process of getting the intern is a blessing itself. some doors closed, some doors opened. it'll be another long post altogether. but thank God! heh...

initially wanted to apply for the prison service, cus i tot my degree would be useful in counselling. but my family was not too happy with it so i didnt send in the application. but i still feel that if God gave us 2nd chances to repent on our sins, the inmates should also be given 2nd chances. so if you are able and have the chance to work there, treasure the opportunity k! heh and all the best...

so anyways... v happy to get the intern... duno if i'll get to write my own stuffs... but even if pao kopi there i oso don't mind... as long as can learn smtgh there... haha... been saying i wanted to be a journalist since i was sec sch... n along these years sometimes i'd be unsure if writing is really what God wanted me to do... sometimes i'm even unsure if i shud continue writing on this blog.. haha... i know getting the intern now oso doesnt mean that that's the exact thing that God wants me to do in the future... but i am definitely excited about nxt week!

i mite have to work on some weekends, oh and i am thinkin of gg for tkd comp in aug, so need to start training again... i oso dun wan to neglect spending time wif pple i love... with so little time n so many things, i hope i'll be able to centre my focus on God to balance all these things that i want to do... jiayou lince!

Life, Prayers, and What Ifs

when i first came to singapore, my brother and i stayed with a family who's said to be distant relatives. they turned out to be much more than formal guardians who signed my consent forms. i call them atio, akow, choon kiat koko, yeeleng cece, sokleng cece, and sebastian. when none of them was at home, akow's dad would come over and help to take care of us. i call him lauku.

lauku passed away on wed morning. i am not particularly close to him, and honestly, i haven't even seen him in years. but his news gave me flashbacks of the times where he'd wait for rv schoolbus with me in the voiddeck, and the times of eating cut watermelons in chinatown. i can still pretty much recall his house, and strangely, his voice.

i went to the wake 2 nights ago with mel and 2jie, and i seriously didn't know what was the appropriate thing to say. am i supposed to say"hey, it's okay..." or what? things are not okay.

but when the time comes, i didnt really have to think alot of what to do. they made it easy really. i was just quiet for awhile and, and sokleng cece looked at me and said "it's okay, just have to be strong." and atio akow were pretty candid, asking me the usual questions of hows school, hows papa mama, koko, etc. and they were open about how lauku's death came about, and were describing his last days- how he was unable to eat for many days, but when his favourite grandson came back from overseas, he could finish a $4 orh-luak by himself. choonkiat koko even joked that it's a fortunate thing that school term's over... because it meant that my prof will not need to see me anymore.

i can see that their eyes are red and tired. but noone was crying while i was there.

there's indeed a time to be born and a time to die. a time to mourn, and a time to laugh. there's also a time to pray.

i don't remember ever praying for lauku, and i know i don't have the chance to do that anymore. but i know i can still pray for laukim. i don't know how life will be like for her now that her husband is gone. last week she was robbed in the lift and her head was hurt while being pushed away. she neither want to stay with the children nor want a maid at home. i also don't know if she'll ever come to know God. i wouldnt know, but i should start praying.

there's a reason why the very people we meet are put into our lives. family, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend. enemies. let's pray for them, and for whoever is in our mind right now. there are 6 billion people in the world and we can't know and pray for them all. but we can pray for those few that we encounter each day. one day if we are able to do that, then we can go on to praying for people whom we don't know. praying does not guarantee salvation. God decides. but we are told to do our part to pray. and more than that, to act and live our prayers.

one more thing, we always assume that our grandparents will die before our parents. and that our parents will die before us. and we will die before our children. if you have never thought about this before, take afew minutes to think about, what if, just what if, you die tonight and find that there's more to life than what is here?

Revelation 21:4-5

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.

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1-101
hey before we log in to blogger, we can check the box that says "remember me" so there's no need to type our password repeatedly rite... is yours working? i click on the box duno how many times already, and my dear blogger still dun want to remember me everytime i sign in...

1-102
the social science students got an email at the beginning of the year tt says: "free admission to national museum of singapore!"

*beams*

last fri, class ended one half hour early. so ash chris and i decided to cross the road frm our building to the museum.

At the front desk...
us: "hello, we are students from smu social science, can we go in straight?"
receptionist (after some time):" oh, the membership expire already. this month's fees havent pay."

ookie.

we ended up walking around the premises anyway, and checked out 2 open (= free) exhibitions. one of it was "Families and Friends- A Singapore Album exhibition", which showcases photographs to "tell the stories of Singaporeans from all walks of life"- quoted from National Museum's site. i like a few collections in particular because they tell stories that are personal and real. there's one really sweet and unique wedding album that's compiled and designed by the couple themselves. there's adrian pang's funny commentaries along with his photo collection. there're also photos of innocent little kids who dun pose in front of cameras. and of course, there're photos of guys in uniforms which caught my eyes... haha...

anyway, i'm really glad class was dismissed early. spending time with chrissy and ash was really fun... go check the museum out if u are interested. and guess wat, it turned out that there's free admission for everyone, weekdays lunch hour, from 12 to 2! (check the website, i'm not bluffing...)

Magic

hello! i lost my match.
but i am ok. heh dont worry... =)

actually i am writing a few posts simultaneously, but this one should have been published last week. kinda overdue. so first things first... i havent give thanks to God for what He has done, and more importantly, for who He is.

usually in smu we'll follow the sch calendar and plan stuffs by the week. for eg, week 8 is break week, final exams is in week 15, etc. i'm going to describe week 9.

i had an assigment due on monday before 12 noon, but i was already prepared to hand it in on tues. on monday nite, the prof emailed and apologised that he did not go to the office that day. he told us to hand it in on tues after 12 instead.

on wed, i was reminded of Col 3:23 and wrote the previous post.

on thurs, i was reminded of Matt 11:28-30.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

this is the first year that i experience peace throughout ivp. in my first year, i remember being so kanchiong- my heart was beating v fast and i can feel my head spin. last yr i was so relieved after my match, i got fever the next day.

i just want to thank God for assuring me that His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. haha it took 3 years to learn that... =P

go to Him, all us who are weary and burdened. He will give us rest. Take His yoke instead. learn from Him. For He is gentle and humble in heart. and we will find rest for our souls. For His yoke is easy, and his burden is light.

on fri and sat, i can't remember how many times the 2 verses gave me strength, and from that strength, peace. it was certainly many many many times...
there's little burden to win the match, to live up to others' expectations, n no more fear of losing. just doing my best for the one, and to rest in one thought.

even after i lost, i din feel the same kind of sadness that i felt in the past. well... i still wake up a few mornings and automatically replay little snippets of the comp. i still think of the things that cud and shud have been done better if i cud turn back time. but the heart is calmed with peace.

are you worrying about anything? actually i am... haha. but let's not worry k! it's all under the control of a super zai God!

everything'll just fall into place...
like magic.

Living in the Audience of One

you know what i fear most?

for the past 2 months, almost 3, i've been working for the comp. been eating less, jogging more, carrying my trainings to my dreams, etc.
i fear that all of that will be futile. wasted down the drain in a mere six minutes this sat.
and how painful that will be, knowing that noone who's watching knows of the effort that is past. worse, knowing that someone knows, and is going to see how i fail to perform.

sigh little pride.. go away.

yet i know... i know it in my head, and my heart is beginning to understand, that i am living in the audience of one.

the most important thing of this process is not on how i fare this saturday. it's how i have been faring. there's one faithful audience who have been training with me throughout, he has seen all my ups and downs, and he knows that i have done my best. and that's enough and pleasing to him.

of course i still want to win. haha...
but winning does not prove that i am a better person than the opponent. losing does not prove that i am worse. victory comes from the Lord, and He shall give it to whoever He wishes. meanwhile, i just want to continue doing my best for that faithful audience. till the end. =)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." -Col 3:23

A Few Things That Can Be Said

i have this friend who's been married for about 15 years. he's very close to his family. so even after marriage, he'll visit home more than every once in a while.

he said that however, he'll not visit home if he had quarrelled with his wife that day. just because he knows that he'll complain about it to his family...

i feel like saying alot of things now. haha... but i shan't because i know i am not in the right mind. and heart.

james jus left this morning, choon is going off tmr morning. darren n andy left too, but coming back soon!

enjoyed and rested myself in indo for the past week. but break week is going to be over tmr. 2 assignments due. one more midterm paper. 12 poems to hand in. and......... tkd comp this sat.

God, You are still here right?
hUgz.

james take care in canada k...
choon take care in aus too...

hUgz.

Do You Love Me Because I am Beautiful

or Am I Beautiful Because You Love Me?

thanks chris for tt quote... i like... heh. in canada super seldom watch tv... come back here then realise that i really like to watch shows... now like the 9 oclock channel 8 show... and it's ending soon... also like to watch nice advertisements... i like the Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty.

can check out:
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.ph/supports.asp?id=3181&length=short§ion=campaign

see the results? it's a study for asian women's attitudes. only abt 3% to 5% women think they are beautiful. so few... maybe the results are biased because of the way the survey and questions are phrased and done... since asians are generally more reserved, and will feel that it's bhb and wrong to answer the survey honestly and admit tt they think they are beautiful... haha see? my psych research classes got use one wor...
the other result that strike me is that, among the Most Satisfied Category, Singapore only score well in the "Financial Success"... but She never appear at all in the list for Most Satisfied in "Family Relations", "Romantic Relations", "Friends","Beauty", and "Health". Contrastingly, other countries are doing better at the rest of the categories, even though they are less satisfied with their financial success.

Here's the song that Dove uses in the advertisement.

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

-Phil Collin's True Colours

do you feel tired carrying me on your back?
i must be quite a pain... it must be super tiring especially when i struggle so much. just cant stop resisting and wanting to walk on my own. other times i fight so hard... just so that you'll carry me the other way.
i can imagine you sweating. struggling too. to keep me still. trying to reassure me. trying to reprimand. trying to tell me that everything is in control. everything's going to be okay.
it's so ironic. now that i'm feeling tired, now that i have no more energy to fight, i suddenly feel so sleepy.
and only now, i am finally willing to rest on your shoulders. i dont really care anymore where you are taking me.
when will you ever get tired of me?

Under Construction

change happens as little and as much as time passes. it is slow and quick at the same time. i am anticipating some changes after the exchange- the major ones are yet to be discovered, but the little ones are quicker to surface.

Little ones like... developing and attaching feelings on the most unlikely thing.a street name. did you know that SMU is located at Victoria Street?

...feeling odd about the someone missing in the group, about the new yellow paint over the blue, or about a familiar person becoming unfamiliar.

...noticing things in a new light, and appreciating them doubly.
the wind feels good chilled and warm.
trees looks good bald and green.
sunset in Victoria is beautiful. ditto from an eighth floor.
heater and aircon are both ingenious inventions.
it's interesting how God fit our selves on earth. Canada has much space with few people, while Singapore has little space with many people.
singaporeans has singlish and finish sentences with a 'la'. canadians has like, like, well, it's like... they say alot of 'like', and like to end sentences with an 'eh', pronounced like an 'ei'.
etc.

i know it in my head that change is good, though most of the time i didnt feel like it. it forces me out of complacency and discover growth. i am also forced to learn of the one Constant who has always been there amidst both the pleasant and discomforting discoveries.

i'm back in singapore! and am still under His contruction...

uh-oh. 4 more days.

To Be Able

Sometimes I wish to speak and write well, but I can’t. Sometimes I wish to love right, but I can’t.
Sometimes I wish this and that, but still I can’t.
Do you see? If you are like me and you wish and you can’t, we can- with His strength.
Only with His strength we can.
To speak and write, and to be understood with our weak words. To act in perfect love. And to do this and that.

The Time Is Starting...

yupz....

friends are starting to go back. and i mean going back for good.

i dont know when i am going to see them again. i dont know if i will get to see them again.

the worst thing is, i feel like i havent give them enough hugs today.

Cant Believe This is Happening

look at this!

i thought this only happens in Enid Blyton's story books....... heh.

o gosh... it was forecasted to be 3-10 cm, but now it's wayyy thicker than tt. victoria is looking like rockies all over......................

=)))))

christie, i am jumping ard and making snowballs and am going to make snowman later. hee. will take lotsa pics!!!!!! =)

it's snowing in Victoria, right now right outside my house!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!! heh. victoria rarely had snow, and the last snow they had was i think 2 or 3 yrs ago. i am looking out of my window and they are just falling abundantly from the sky....

it'll be cold today. =)

Have You Heard of the band MercyMe?

wil has the first 2 CDs, and the songs are good. i jus bought the latest one called "Coming Up to Breathe". havent really got the chance to listen to it, but i can already say that i like them more than before...

"I remember going swimming with my brother when I was a kid. We would always get into a major wrestling match in the water to see which one could take the other under. Even to this day, if we get into a pool together... LOOK OUT! Being five years younger, it seemed like I was always the one forced to see how long I could hold my breath underwater because he was so much stronger than me. Sometimes we would get carried away and my broher would hold me underwater for a little too long, and I would start to panic. I'll never forget that feeling of needing air, desperately reaching out for something to pull myself with. I may have only been under it for a few seconds, but when I surfaced, I gasped for air like it was the first time I had ever breathed. Looking back, all I can say is, nothing has changed. Even to this day, I still struggle with keeping my head above water. The circumstance may be a little different, but the urgency to breathe is very much the same.

These days the things that hold us down look different than my big brother in a swimming pool. For most of us, we carry the weight of wanting to live up to other people's expectations, and this can be a hard burden to bear. Sometimes we succeed and other times we fail, but the weight of expectations can hold any of us down and overwhelm us. This is just as true for people who make music and want to share it with the world.

For us in MercyMe, some days we feel the expectations of our families. Some days it is the expectations of our ministry or the music industry. Other days we wonder if a song we've written will be embraced by our listeners, or if people will want to come see one of our concerts. It is days like these when we sometimes forget God's expectations of us.

Thankfully, God's expectations are quite different than people's. God doesn't expect us to always please others. God doesn't expect us to write a hit song. God doesn't expect us to change hearts or save the world- that is His job. God simply asks us to be faithful and do the best with what He has given us. He desires us to simply reflect His goodness, His glory and His grace to the watching world. When we are able to stop and realize what God requires of us, all the weight of others' expectations seems to melt away.

What you hold in your hands is the result of MercyMe surfacing... surfacing from our concern for what others might think of us, and allowing ourselves to come up for air, catch our breath and breathe deep the grace and freedom of God.

The music and message of this album is all over the place and we love it! There are songs that go deeper than we have ever gone before, and there are songs that are as shallow as some of the swimming pools my brother and I wrestled in. And the good news is... it is OK! This is who we are, blemishes and all. Our prayer is that this project will somehow draw you closer to Christ, whether through an intimate time of worship, or through the joy of knowing it is OK to have fun. The bottom line is, it would do us all some good to find ourselves... Coming up to Breathe."

- Bart Millard, from MercyMe, on "Coming Up to Breathe".

Still I Notice You

Every Season
by Nichole Nordeman

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice You
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

I saw my first snow

and I am overwhelmed.

Went to Rocky Mountains for the past 4 days, and it was beEeaAAuuuUtifUl... we went to different mountains and lakes and little towns, and the combination was lovely! i was trying to read my notes for my coming exam (in 2 days), but i couldnt take my eyes off the window, so i just gave up reading altogether.

snow is amazing. i love rain, but snow is really something different. when i first see it fall, it was so quiet, i couldn't even hear a thing, and it just caught me by surprise. and when it first fall on me, it felt so dry and clean, i could just brush it off with my bare hands. we saw even more snow at the lakes and the higher altitudes. i could just pick up a handful of them and toss them back into the air, i could just eat it off the branches and taste the coldness!

snow is so soft and pure... and delicious.... and white. i was just telling ping that snow gave me the same feeling that old castles have... it's not fun like spring and summer like a princess, but more elegant like a Queen.

in every season there is a time, in every time His beauty is showcased. in the first morning i asked "God, show off your beauty k!" and He really didnt hold back at all.... thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

Hearing the First Rain of Autumn

and much more...

God never leave me at any time. He teach me numerous lessons, as few or as many as He thinks is best, and at the times He thinks is best. He knows me better than myself, and He is teaching me to know Him- my God, my father, my friend, my lover, my romancer. He loves me like mad. and I am learning to love Him like mad.

First Post in Victoria

i am in victoria!!!!!!!!!! heh. been here for a few days already, and i like what i see so far.
flowers along the streets... in pple's lawns... they are so bright and colourful! the air smells sweet... and the wind feels great. it gets chilly at night though, so i have to wear a sweater. the people are frenly in general, really helpful.. one of the things tt impress me the most is victoria's accessibility for the physically disabled. there is a club in campus called Access UVic. (uvic= university of victoria). and there's so much support going on for this cause!
in sgp i will see maybe 1 or 2 physically disabled pple in a few days. here, i get to see a few of them in 1 day. i wondered why there are more disabled pple here than in sgp at first. then i realised... maybe its not that we have less of them in sgp.. but maybe they jus dun go out as often on the streets bcus its so difficult to move ard for them. you know the stairs that we have to walk up each time we go up the bus? yupz.. here that stairs is moveable. so when there's anyone who's wheelbound coming up the bus, the driver will push a button which move the stairs, and beneath is a smooth platform for the wheels. great rite? =)

i am enjoying myself here. got my first hitch-ride.. i was jus putting out my hand for fun, and was so surprised that the guy actually stopped for us! heh. went around to so many different places to hunt for a house...n we finally found a place yesterday.

hey thanks for sending me to airport that day. i know you guys have to wake up super early, some of you have to go back to sch, and have to travel from east to west again. really appreciate it. =) i will try to post the pic we took that day, i am not sure how yet.. heh but i will find out somehow... christie yinghui ching elaine, so sad we couldnt meet up beforehand! the last day in sgp was pretty hectic with all the last min shopping and packing. =( take care okay? and i din get to meet up with so many others. you all take care too!

well... in the midst of all the fun.... i am homesick to be honest. =) there's no sense of familiarity here. i am still trying to get to know the other 2 gals frm smu.. the daily routine here is different, and i still haven find a comfort zone. i miss the people whom i can be comfortable with back at home. but i know i jus need more time to adjust. sometimes i feel lonely and foreign. but thank God God is with me. so i am not alone. =)

Why I Like Him and His Writings

TO LUCY BARFIELD

My Dear Lucy,

I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realized that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think of it. I shall probably be too deaf to hear, and too old to understand, a word you say, but I shall still be

your affectionate Godfather,
C. S. Lewis.

- C.S. Lewis on writing The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

A Beautiful Moment

i stood still in the crowd outside the stadium on wednesday, in awe of fireworks. it's so amazing how they can change into different colours in split seconds, and how each star that is shot can burst into a million other starlets into the sky. i love its every moment.

in my fascination, i exclaimed:"who invented fireworks? they are so smart!!!"
and while i was full of praise for the scientist or engineer of whoever that came up with this, He reminded of the wonders of the ultimate creator of all things. praise Him! =)

My Wandering Heart

the heart is like a butterfly. she flutters from flower to flower in the court, trying to seduce the sweetness within. then finds herself sipped in the routine.
the heart is more foolish. the creature finds host in its Eden, unlike her who tries to satisfy her self elsewhere.

" O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be
Let Thy goodness like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander Lord, i feel it
Prone to leave the God i love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above
Here's my heart, O take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above"

taken from Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing,
words by Robert Robinson.

Before I Sleep

yesterday pastor said that there are many careless words and emails that he wished he could take back.

me too.

sometimes i really wished that i can take back my words. esp those that are said when i was guarding my pride. or when i was too full of myself.

one reason why i haven blogged is cus the internet is really slow in indo and it will jus cut its connection whenever it pleases. so i was too impatient to write anything up here. the other reason is cus i jus din know what to write. or maybe i knew, but i was too lazy to proof-read them. it always takes time to decide whether each entry is okay. no point publishing things tt are not beneficial. but even those are fine. its still okay if words are not beneficial in any way, as long as it doesnt harm. the worst kind of words are when they harm. so be careful with them. i dun mean be careful when someone say harmful stuffs to you. i mean be careful not to say harmful stuffs to others.

k la.... so this post may not be beneficial to you. haha tts very fine. just hoping that it doesnt harm God in any way.

good nitez, slp tite........

o ya, i haven talked about my trip back in indo... it was really fun... =) and i had a really good time with my family... not just my immediate family, but my uncles aunts cousins etc. got to know things i never knew about them. when i thought i already know them so well!
hmmz i shant say how much weight i have gained. but just that i ate so much for each meal, that i still feel full even when its time for the next meal. but i still had to eat. so i ate while i was full, then i was super full by the end of it. so by the next next meal i am still full, but i still have to eat. and so on. so different from Gundap right.... yupz... food is really good in indo... but family is best! =)

good nite again..... chOc DrEamZ......... =)

10 Days 9 Nights

Those 10 days only fill up 31 pages of my small little journal, but i hope it will bear more significance than mere papers flipped back and forth for reading pleasure.

Living Conditions
I was told that the place is called Ape, a part of Tanjung Gundap. The people live in wooden houses on the water shores. I can feel the tide beneath my bed at night (during the first night i mistook the sounds of the waves as someone washing clothes throughout the night), and heavy rain sounds like waterfall against the attap!

There is no aircon, no water heater, no laptop... there would be no electricity by now. it's on only from 6pm till 10pm, approximately 4 hours each day. At 6 when the generator starts to hum, those who have tv will turn them on and start to watch.. of all things... indian shows!! they love bollywood. in my house is posters of Jesus and the cross, and next to that are posters of bollywood actors and actresses.

Water is drawn from the well every morning, and dirt can still be seen in the water. so i try very hard to sift them when i bath... heh don't ask me how...

The food is good. spicy most of the time, and i loved most of it. Dishes will depend on their catch for that day. It was the first time i tried sea turtle!! i saw how it was slaughtered alive before my very eyes.... before it was served for my lunch and dinner.

I also get to travel to other islands by pompong... learnt how to row sampans, but my poor friend didnt want to sit in the same boat again after i tried rowing.

Oh and i just have to add that there's a cat in Gundap who's an exact copycat of garfield. fat... lazy... and so adorable!

The People
It is queer. Everyone was connected to everyone else. Father A is son of Mother B who is sister of Lady C who is cousin of Brother D who is stepbrother of Sister E who is daughter of Grandmother F and so on. And there's so much adoptions going on! A family can have more than 10 children, but extremely many did not survive various illnesses. So only a few are left in each family, and these are mixed with other children adopted from their sibling's or neigbour's.

Aside from this complication, the people there are really simple... and they are really kind.

The family who adopted me only had one bed at home which belongs to the son. but they gave it to me while i was there... yupz... imagine me on bed, and the rest of them sleeping on the floor.

The daughters cooked my meals, which usually means rice with a side dish. On the 3rd night, i realised one of the girls was eating rice only with sambal... i asked her why. she said there's not enough food, smiled and said its ok, and that it's normal. imagine again... her eating rice and sambal... whilst half an hour ago i just ate rice with a proper side dish. i didn't dare to eat much after that...

A New Song
In the mornings before lessons began, the children get to sing 10 songs of their choice. I love listening to them. They have such joyful voices!
We learnt alot of new songs from them... like "Aku Teko Kecil", "Aduh Aduh...", and such. i like the move-alongs!! =P

Here's my favourite:
"Kasih Yesus
indah indah o indah!
Kasih Yesus
indah indah o indah....

Lebih indah dari pelangi
Lebih indah dari bunga di taman
Lebih indah dari bintang di langit
O Yesus ku!"

His love is lovely. more lovely than the rainbows, than the flowers in the fields, and the stars in the sky, is He my Jesus! =)

A New Prayer
I love the children's prayers too. they pray like kids! so bold before God and before us. short and simple prayers uttered so well... i also want to pray like that! with sincerity and without pretense. without fear of barriers in indo language. =P

The Team
The team consists of 9 of us.

There's a girl who hates dogs, cats, and i think almost any animal. she also doesnt like to climb around the areas. yet she is willing to come.
There's another girl who loves kids. she has such an abundant lot of energy! she can just play with the kids for aaall daaay looong..............................................
There's a guy who's so skilled with photography. i fell in love with many of his pictures. he said something that reminded me that this is God's work, and not ours. to God be the glory, not us.
There's another guy who can really draw..... sing.... and do so many other things!
There are guitar players...
One guy uses magic tricks to share Christ! and oh he do indian dance too.
One guy was writing notes and rehearsing his speech so seriously...
Another guy tried to use less plates so that the lady won't need to wash so many of them, brings tissues around for us...

I am really encouraged by each one of them... i think i'm shortchanging them by describing them with one-liners. but i love their sincerity and willingness to serve. and i see facets of God in each one of them.... His love... His creativity... His beauty... providence... glory!

Thorns and Roses
Paul talked of a thorn in his flesh that doesnt go away. he cried and asked God to remove that thorn from him, but it wasnt removed. that thorn made him depend on God.

My friends had problems like sore throats, cough, diarrhea, etc... my thorn was itches. on the 1st or 2nd day, i was bitten by insects i think, i am not sure. but it hurt and swell for some time before it redden and itch like crazy. i couldn't rest at night because i kept waking up, and i was pretty worried that it'll affect my days ahead. so on the 3rd night i prayed that God'll remove them somehow... but if it's meant to be my thorn, and is meant to stay, pls help me to bear with it. He reminded me of His promise from 1 Cor 10:13, that "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." and I was really comforted knowing that He's going through this together with me. Jesus knows all sufferings, and so of course He knows what it's like to itch. heh. That night i slept well.

I was not bitten from that day onwards. So i only had to deal with the itches left by the previous bites. until....... day 9! i was bitten again on day 9. this time i had one swell that's right beneath my left foot. praise Him! because i only had 1 more night to go, and will be leaving in the morning in day 10. praise Him because i can't imagine how i can deal with those bites from day 3 to 8. i think i'll be irritable and impatient. and praise Him because i was made to depend on Him at this course....

Others
Before i left, i was told that i'll be so close to God during the trip, the real test comes when i am back in Singapore. Will i still depend on Him each day of my lives in every moment? On day -1, I wrote in my journal that i wasnt even sure if i'll be able to experience that closeness with God in the first place. thankfully, only by His grace, i was made to cling unto Him during the trip. i had no choice because i saw how faithful He is regardless of my weaknesses and inadequacies.

One of the aims of this trip was to witness and bless the people there, and share whatever we could share with them (because we have first been blessed so much!). i was counting down the days every morning every night like this:
"day 1. i have about a week here...
day 2. 7 more days...
day 5. only abt 4 nights and 4 days left Lord...
day 7. anymore chances in the next 2 or 3 days...
day 8. going back in 2 days...
day 9. last night here!"
heh. so when the day ends or starts i felt a sense of urgency because i knew i do not have much time there. we were focused and very clear, and thus each day was purposeful.

It's been a week since i came back. i've already lost the little tan i gained, gained the little weight i lost. the scars from the bites will take longer to heal, but i'm sure they will go off soon enough. i hope this trip will not be like that- a passing event, trifled and buried as a distant memory.

Let me learn to depend on Him every single moment here and everywhere... even admist my air con, lap top, warm clean water, food, and all my comforts. let me know and remember life's purpose each day... and live life. may all praise and glory be unto God!

"So whether you eat or frink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Cor 10:31.

Some Things

One thing Not Nice:
i went for my first day of work near raffles place mrt. since it was my first day, i desperately needed to ask for directions. the first 2 persons i approached dismissed me with a sian hand wave even before i started speaking! and i deliberately chose those 2 because everyone else was walking past so quickly, while they were just standing around. i am not sure if they think i was trying to sell things or do some surveys, but i wasnt even holding anything! bleah.... i think people in orchard are friendlier...

i dont' like it when people are cold... is it just a part of urbanisation? i hope when i go to work next time i wouldnt change to be like that... but i think it's easy for anyone of us to fall into that trap amidst all the competition and chaos.... that trap of just caring about my own business, and not caring about anything or anyone else anymore...

One thing Nice:
i was at tiong bahru mrt this time. was going up the escalator when this boy rushed past. he looked about 9 years old. behind him was another lady who was trying to catch up. the boy was saying "bu yao, bu yao! bu yong jing!"/ "don't! don't need!". he was carrying loads of plastic bags. and the lady, which i presume is the mom, kept saying "hen zhong! tai zhong le! gei wo na, ah boy!"/ "its heavy! it's too heavy! let me carry them, ah boy!". and the boy jus kept running up, and the mom just kept running up too. while both kept repeating what they said.

heehe......what a considerate pair! the boy is so sweet!!! the mom is so thoughtful!!! both think of the other's needs first before their own's.... i like them!!!! haha..... it's really heartwarming to see that.... =)

Complete

taken from Complete
by Parachute band.

"So I lift my eyes to You Lord
In Your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears

Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And by faith I will walk on Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You"

some days i forget...
He completes me. =)

Child's Play

shine or flicker above
the withering wick

below

is

where

the wind fickles as she likes.
she doesn't listen.

seasons may change
and fires die

but the wind pleases
till its time.

tickles and ticks
that child plays with tricks.

oh

it's not supposed to be so.

my dear

shine or flicker above
the withering wick

the wind says hello
shine like halo
as long as the former lives.

Summer's Rain

i miss blogging!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha....
been itching to write much sooner, but i keep telling myself i SHALL NOT blog till exams are over. and the fact that you are reading something new means tt this is it. exams ARE over. phew... =)

one day after my last paper was the start of a wonderful 3-days retreat with some wonderful pple with one wonderful God.

three days after the last day i am sitting in front of my laptop once again typing at this very moment. wondering what else there is to be said and done. well there's much...
may i use this time wisely.

it's summer hols! =)

Israel is Shameless, So am I.

"they say, 'if a man divorces his wife,
And she goes from him
And become another man's,
May he retun to her again?'
Would not that land be greatly polluted?
But you have played the harlot with so many lovers;
Yet return to Me," says the Lord.
-Jeremiah 3:1

i can't help but cry when i read this... i have played the harlot so many times.... been unfaithful so many times.... turned away so many times... yet He still waits for my return.

i am so ashamed at myself... but praise Him who is faithful.

Blessed

hey james, thank you for blessing me and for just being there...
i think you were God-sent yesterday. =)

thank You Father for sending Your blessings through a brother! =)

Lince Laughed Today

i take a walk today.
and He still walk besides me.
holds my hand.
refuses to let me go.

the wind breathes, sooths and
balms my heart.

the heat is a little discomforting, but its warmth
heals my soul.

i said, "i love the maker of it all!"
and He stopped walking.
laughed suddenly.
and guess what, i stop to laugh at myself too.

it's been a while... =)

Like Eating Lemon

of the things i need to let go.
of the things i feel you need to let go.

Dear Girls, A Prayer.

"Lord, I pray for a man, that will be a part of my life
A man that really loves You more than anything
A man that will take me in the second place of his heart
A man that lives not for himself but for You
Face and physical attraction aren’t important
The most important is I want a heart that really loves and has a thirst of You
and has a desire to be like Jesus

And he must know for whom and for what he lives, so his life isn't useless
Someone that has a wise heart, not only a smart brain
A man that not only loves me but also respects me,
A man that not only can adore me but can warn me when I'm wrong
A man that loves me not because of my beauty but of my heart
A man that can be my best friend in every time and situation
A man that makes me feel like a woman when I beside him

I'm not asking for a perfect man, but I ask for imperfect man
So I can make him perfect in Your eyes.
A man that needs my support for his strength
A man that needs my prayer for his life
A man that needs my smile to cover his sadness
A man that needs my love, so he could feel beloved
A man that needs me to make his life perfect

And I also ask ... make me a woman that can make him proud
Give me a heart that really loves You so I could love him with Your love,
not love him with only my love
Give me Your gentle spirit so my beauty didn't come from outside but came from You
Give me Your Hands that I always be able to pray for him
Give me Your eyes so I could see many good things in him and not only the bad one
Give me Your mouth that is filled with Your words of wisdom and encourage
So I could support him every day
Give me Your lips that I could smile at him every morning

And I want that when finally we met
Both of us could say
How great Thou Art that
You give me someone that can make my life so perfect
I know that You want we meet at the right time
And You will make everything beautiful in Your time
Amen. "

thanks kristia for the email! heh. duno who wrote it though...

erm i dun fully agree with one tiny part... about a man who needs me to make his life perfect, and about someone who can make my life perfect... it's both true and not true i think... ultimately, my life is perfect because of God. and his life should be too. =P
still.. i like the prayer... heh. happy belated valentine's!

1 Feb 2006

Today is a bad day.
not exactly. hmm... how should i put it...
it's good initially, and it's good most of the time. but when there's that one moment that's bad, it spoils the whole day.

i think i'm too sensitive.

one hour ago i jus feel like running away. from that one thing that doesnt go my way...
i think we all do feel that way at one point of time or another, don't you? to just run and hide... if you never felt that way before, good for you.

then i thought, one bad thing out of many good is pretty okay actually. maybe because i have alot of good things already, so there need to be a balance or smtgh. we lose some, we gain some right? for eg. a gal who has pretty eyes may has stubby fingers. or like a guy who has career but has no family. or like a person who has good grades, but has no friends. or another who is rich, but has no purpose in life.

so maybe, since i'm happy with so many things already, it's right that i should be given some things that make me unhappy. maybe some Higher Being above (whoever you believe in), a Force, Fate, something beyond us has got everything planned, and has everything balanced out. like the wheel of fortune in Julius Caesar, or like karma where good and bad revolves ard depending on our deeds.

i believed in a lie for a moment.
the God i know is not like that. He doesnt bless me for one day, and curse me another. He doesnt have mood swings. yes, bad things do happen. but God does not give good things, so that He can give the bad things later. Neither does He give the bad, then leave the best for the last. He doesn't toy around with our lives. He is not playing a joke on us. He also does not give something, then take away another thing for a return. God does not calculate profits from us. He does not need to. Jesus certainly did not expect a return when He gave His life for us. what can we give in return anyway? our lives? it's nothing compared to His. He simply gives because He is good.

I felt sucky jus now. But I'm glad i felt that way. it led me to remember something that's so easily dismissed as passe- God is a good God (no matter how i feel).

There is None Like You

taken from Michael W Smith's.

"i could search for all eternity long
and find
there is none like You."

*sigh... contented* =)

rythm is good. it keeps you running
and running,
running and
running and
running and
running.
that's bad.

know when to stop.

Wind and Confusion

there can be only 2 reasons if i take so long to blog...
1. There is nothing happening.
2. Too many things are happening.

I'm at option 2.
this draft consist of so many phrases accumulated for the past 2 months!

when alot of things happen... I sometimes think alot. And when I think alot, sometimes my thoughts are all condensed and they try to expand themselves. sometimes they pop, sometimes they brew. sometimes both happen at the same time. when that happens it gets tricky because i'm not sure if i should try to let these thoughts flow quickly in case i lose that train, or try to slow them down in case there're too many undeveloped ideas... what a pity if i were to merely pass them by!

so i'm going to cut and paste the rest of the phrases to a next draft. and i'll try to write more regularly... and hopefully be able to convey better the many wonderful things of one.

hAppY cHRisTmAS.... and MeRrY nEW yeaR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha.... =)

Post-It

Korean Taekwondo Spectacular last nite was well, spectacular. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else... they were so....... Z.A.I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. my heart was beating so fast.

SMU's peak period is here again. all schmates are in msn's busy mode... but it also means tt... there's only 3 more weeks to hols! =)

i need to learn more what it means to live is Christ. even if there's 3 a-thousand-words assignments, 3 presentations, 4 project papers, 4 finals. that's not what's bothering actually.

Thank God for Fleas, Mosquitoes and Bad Stuffs

from RBC Ministries, October 2005 newsletter:

"In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." -1 Thessalonians 5:18.

When Corrie Ten Boom was in a Nazi Concentration camp, her barrack was infested with fleas. One night when reading this passage, Corrie's sister exclaimed, "God wants us to thank Him for the fleas." Corrie said, "No way! I'm NOT going to thank God for these infernal fleas!"

Their nightly bible study had started to attract more women, and Corrie worried that they would get caught. At one point she asked, "Why don't the Nazis ever come to check on us?" "The Nasiz won't come near this place because of the fleas" was the answer. Then she exclaimed, "God, thank You for the fleas!"

Of Epiphanies

20 years of life, learning, verses, and thoughts:

1. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting. A woman who fears the Lord deserves to be praised.

2. yet i am still vain.

3. guys have egos. but girls have pride.

4. i like crooked teeth. and no... i don't have them myself. pls don't wear braces.

5. i dun eat apple. or tofu. or spaghetti.

6. practise random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

7. if a girl falls for a guy, i really hope the guy catches her fall.

8. one of the worst feelings is to have pple whom u care to not care.

9. i take v long to reply sms and sometimes i dun even reply. i need to change.

10. do unto others what you want others to do unto you.

11. voices need to be heard.

12. dance like noone's watching. sing like noone's listening. love like you're not going to get hurt. live like there's no tomorrow.

13. the heart is deceitful. be careful. guard it for it is the wellspring of life.

14. i love to write.

15. i oscillate between pride and condemnation. both are one of my greatest struggles.

16. i am not better than you. neither am i worse than you. don't judge. don't self-condemn. we are equally loved, and equally worthy in His sight.

17. Thank God for that!

18. i love girls. girlfriends are one of the greatest gifts ever.

19. i need to have enough sleep.

20. i think it's relatively easy to not do bad things, but harder to do good.

21. likewise, it's relatively easy not to hate, but it's harder to love.

22. i mean love, as in not just those people that are lovable. but to love those that are not lovable in my sight.

23. love God, love others, love your neighbours, love your enemies. as yourself.

24. because He first loves us.

25. the rich and the poor has this in common. the Lord is the maker of them all.

26. likewise, take away "the rich " and "the poor". fill the blanks with you and someone else. try fitting it in with someone you don't like, despise or judge. try again with someone whom you envy. the sentence'll still work.

27. i am a christian who happens to be a student. not a student who happens to be a christian.

28. God listens.

29. our understanding is so limited. but His words and ways are higher than ours.

30. trust Him.

31. the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

32. ask yourself today if you bear His fruit.

33. i am a child and a sister.

34. i want to be a wife and a mother one day. if it's in His plan.

35. i expect alot from my family and friends. i don't know if tt's good or bad...

36. don't listen to sad songs when you are sad. it's not theraupatic. it just gives you an avenue to sink deeper.

37. i don't want to treasure things less just because i have more.

38. dun make promises which u can't keep.

39. even if you think you can, try not to.

40. talk less.

41. only 2 things will not perish. the souls of Man and His word. that's the things that matter... people and Him.

42. not money, not fame, not power. these will only leave us dissatisfied, and feeling empty.

43. there'll always ups and downs.

44. hold on to the promise of eternity. have hope. be patient. don't give up.

Thank You... again.

we shudnt use certain words too often... lest we take it for granted. 1 of the phrases that i use most is... (ya ya a lot of pple commented before.... =P) "thank you"! haha... i really hope that i'm not overusing it to the extent that it dun mean anything to u anymore. it's just that i have no other words to say to express and appreciate people, and am at a loss to think of what's appropriate, enough, unlacking, better.

So there... thank you family, thank you friend, thank You God. =)

one of my greatest wish is to let all the blessings that you so freely give unto me, be freely passed on to you and others..... lince, pass it on!!! =)

Feet, Smells and Kisses

i thought i wanted to kiss Your feet... You know? especially after reading about the woman who wiped your feet with her hair, with her tears, and kissed it! i'm so inspired to adore You like her. heh... hmmz... but then... what if Your feet smells? okay i am sorry... i don't mean to be rude or anything... but would i dare to kiss Your feet if it smells?

hmmz.... i always want to do this the first thing i see You nxt time... *HUGZ!*

i will really hug You like mad... but after i read abt that woman, i feel that she's so humble... only dare to kiss your feet... i'm so fussy in comparison.... feet still must smell nice.... and want to hug You somemore!

but before i can finish my thought, You already bent down and washed my feet....

how come God, You can humble yourself like that???? and love me like that...... i'm so silly to think abt smelly feet... i think in heaven everything will smell nice too.... and You are so pure... surely'll have a nice smell......

i want to laugh and cry at the same time...

small girl BIG QUESTIONS

my hands went cold for a while yesterday evening. the green man didn't know though. the red man pretends to know, stood still and mocked. i felt stupid. But after the green man flashed, that little stupidity gave me relief.

life's little ironies...

today restlessness resides a little more than usual. i get a little more emotional. i haven't seen so many people coming for service in a long time.... someone commented that it felt like christmas service. the rare scene of a full house. time seems not to notice though, service goes on as per normal, lunch, then home. and that was it. the last of CG/YF service.

yet this is not the last of us. nor the least.

for all my questions of life and whos and whys and hows and whats and whens and wheres, oh how He knows. and yes He knows. should i repeat that He knows? and i am saying it for the fourth time not for your emphasis, but for my benefit.
He knows.

small girls can only trust His answer. Even when she hears silence...

-----------------------------------------

"God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
with wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God"
Awesome God, by Rich Mullins

Luke 10:39-42

She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha" the Lord answerd," you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Just a Note

hey all.... heh have been neglecting this space for sometime...
was busy with work then, now busy with sch... lotsa things happen in 1 month, yet everything remains pretty much the same... there are ups... there are downs....
basically, i am well. =)

things i did:
went for Mahasiswa Indonesia Menuai (MIM) 2005 over a weekend. it's a youth missionary conference... made really nice friends... hope to see them again on 12sep! and i learnt much frm those 3 days... but i musnt jus be contented wif learning, must oso practise them! heh. so many things till i duno how to start and i dun even know if i shud pen them down here. but i guess it doesnt really matter.... what matters more is my actions... not mere words.

working was an experience... both good and bad... i got my first pay cheque! heehee... though its not much... but it's qte fun waiting for it... it's also interesting to work with different people and supervisors. colleages are nice fortunately... i work part-time with 3 other smu friends. plus 1 nus friend, plus 1 more friend frm outside. all nice people... =)

did other things here and there too.... but can't rem at this point of time.... heh... nxt time rem then blog...

school is starting to give lotsa readings and work... so i mus jiayou... heh. all of u in sch or working or in ns jiayou too k! take care till i see you....

When My Thoughts Trail

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.

That's the first line he typed in Moulin Rogue.
so queer.
when you love and that person seems not to care.
or when the wrong person seems to care.

do you really learn just to love? and all you do is hope to be loved in return.
do you really just learn to love?

love is an amazing verb. and like all other gestures, it takes practise to better itself.

it's great to love, and be loved in return.
it's greater to still love, when there is no return.
yet it's greatest to love, when there is not even an expectation of a return.

and i am so clearly ashamed and humbled by the speck of love that i boast so dearly, as i search for my dear returns.

My Dearest Confidant

i wrote horrible stuffs. it was saved as a draft for abt a week, and nope, i am not going to publish it. in fact i just deleted it.

it's so easy to delete things and hide parts of your self in front of others. but God knows. He knows the exact letter i am going to hit, all the wrong spellings, deletings and retypings even before my fingers touch the pad.
and i am so thankful for that...
With Him i express freedom. to be just as i am. to say all the things that's in my mind. i don't feel paiseh with God... i am glad He knows all my thoughts, my bests and my worsts, and it shall remain a secret between Him and me. if any, oopz, typo there, i mean many. if many of my imperfections are revealed, let it be a testimony of His grace, forgiveness, mercy, and love.

"You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God"

how can i refuse such a refuge?

Most Stayest

O satisfaction
where have your eyes flee?
your hands they grope

Satisfaction cries
out
yet silenced
for your voice too left
beyond your fingers. right
and right and you kept right
O pride!
till you turn
and return to the blind, to the dumb.

O satisfaction
where have your eyes flee?
O soul's satisfaction
can you breathe within, down, up to the one who stays?

I Need Your Prayer! =P

if all things happen for a reason, i believe this, too. though i know not why. yet.
i have no idea why that guy called, or what pleasure he gained from doing such things. i dun even know him. but it is maddening to know tt people uses good causes and abuses those. actually i was scared when i got the first call a few days ago. today i got the third. but i am not afraid anymore. if i really think abt it, there's nothing much he can do except to call and threaten. it'll be tough to get through the security guards and camera before he gets here. if ever someone is going to follow me or smtgh, i know i wun jus scream for help or cry. i'll run. if there's nowhere else to run i'll surely resist and fight back. hopefully i will never have to do that...
and i believe that guy needs help. pls help me pray for protection and pray for that person to repent and turn to God too...

hey all... we must JiAYoU!

been a long time since i see pple say the singapore pledge. the last time was.... back in nj? early in the morning i'll run frm the opp bustop to the side gate, across the track, up the hill, to the back (or front) of the school, look for S12, reached the back of the queue, throw my bag on the floor, just in time for flag raising...
other times i'll take taxi to the main entrance, and stroll my way...

haiz... anyway... when we place our right fist across our heart, it symbolises a pledge, a promise.
our brain is said to be the size of our clenched fist. hopefully our heart is neither bigger nor smaller... anyone can make a promise at any time, thought he/she meant it with all his/her heart at that time, yet can break it all the same at the end. anyone can change how they look, but its hard to change how they think, what they feel. when they do though, its even harder to reverse the change.

we are meant to think and feel and choose beautiful things. but when our heart hurt, and our head throb, let's try to choose this:
don't give up hoping on hope, don't forget to remember love, and have faith in our faithful Maker of these 3...

Just A Little Crush?

he pulls your pigtail, he notices details about you, gives little glances, sometimes his words come forth as sarcastic and hateful. and you wonder, does he have a crush on you?
she slips surprise candies into your bag, walks the same longer path home, she so hopes to catch a glimpse of you. and she wonders, do you know she has a crush on you?

okok... i actually did the candy thing before. *gAsP*
erm actually, i did alot more silly things before. *GAsP gAsP*

This is a story of a guy who had, and still has a crush on me.

2 days ago, my friends and i were sitting down on the smu quad field. we were looking at the green grass, picturing white roasted pig, squirrel, fish and rabbit running across the blue sky. listening to the crickets and lizards.

then i heard:
"Another summer day
is come and gone away...."
chris and i were listening to Michael Buble's "Home". and i said, "this is so appropiate..."

moments later, i spotted an aeroplane, the kind which leaves a trail of cloud behind... and i shouted "look! aeroplane!"

then we heard:
"...another aeroplane
another sunny place..."
and both our jaws dropped.

Ever notice how He teases you?

2 weeks ago, i was scorching under the sun, and was whining to Him about how hot it was... and guess wat. a huge cloud came over and shaded me. instantly.

He must have loved to see the look on my face.
and i bet He has more than just a little crush on you and me...

Everything is Made Beautiful in His Time

"God is God, and i am a girl.
saw Race to the Altar advertisement on TV just now. i know Jesus is the groom waiting for me to reach the altar. It's nice to think that i'm His bride. Even if there's others. but still... i'm His bride too. heh... this'll be weird for a man to imagine....
anyway, ya, racing to the altar. brides always walk down extra slowly on the isle... bet they are yearning to run instead. so exciting to be wed! duno y must walk so slow... if we can run, it'll be so much faster to reach the groom who's waiting there for us at the altar! i can imagine Jesus waiting for me... smiling and holding out His hand... as i reach the altar. heh... kinda excited thinking abt it.. but i duno if i'll be walking or running. i think i'll be running ba... lifting up my long puffy gown a little higher above my ankle so i can run without tripping. and high heels! i duno y gals must wear high heels! it's so painful! i guess it looks elegant and all... but it still hurts! esp when i have to stand for more than half an hour. o well....
if i run to the altar it'll take less than a few mins, so it wun hurt then... at least not so much.
i'll reach the altar, finally!
breathless... smiling, grinning!
i'll look messy but happy!
That'll be nice... =)"

tts something i wrote abt more than a year ago... heh. it's so funny to read things i penned down so long ago... as i read past letters, diaries, notes, etc, i see changes in my thoughts, in the way i talk and write... at the same time i see similar prayers, struggles, same traits.

i was so impatient and i still am. impatient to get a job. impatient to know who's the one. impatient to love. impatient to make decisions. impatient to wait. impatient to grow up! jus like jenna in 13 going 30...

i have repeated the same lesson on patience for so many times! and i realise God is not just interested in what i'll become at the end. He's also interested in the things i learn during the process of getting there. as He always says, everything is made beautiful in His time... and this is a beautiful time to wait.

"it's good to run... =)
but it's also good to take a walk at other times... a slow walk. it's great to slow down and relish all that is good- all of His works.
God is good."

Still

Still
by Rueben Morgan, Hillsong.

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king above the flood
I will be still, and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10.
one of my favourite verses... =)

Re-Rewind

congratz dajie and hendy for your ROM!!! =)

i'm having a hard time to start writing my blog again. i said that hols has been superb so far. and it really is. i enjoyed myself so much in indo that sometimes i feel guilty. i wonder how my maid felt when she had to bring the load of shopping bags to my room. i hear so much about my friends going for mission trips, church camps, work etc etc... while there i was, slacking my time away.

indo is always a great place for me to rest and have fun. i get to go back there at least twice a year. and its a period where i really get to spend time with my family.

i'm the kind of girl who needs a break once in a while. let's say i've been too stressed out with school, i'll stay at home even it means i'm skipping class. if i've been going out to play consecutively for days, i'll also choose to stay at home for at least one whole day by myself. i love being with people but i also like to spend time by myself. you can catch me talking alot at one moment, i'll be quieter at the next, especially when i'm in a crowd.

so when summer hols came, i thought yay! i am going to go back indonesia to have a break from eVEryTHIng! from school, ccas, from msn, from all my loves, desires and responsibilities in singapore. just for one month. on the other hand, i did not want to play too long in indo, cus i know i needed a break even from vacation. 4 months is waay too long.

i didn't realise though, that when i wanted to lose contact with everything here, i lost contact with God. that's horrible. if there's one thing we do not take a break from, its God. its like breathing. we never take a break from breathing. ditto for God. we need Him all the time. and silly me, who had all the time in her world began to do things on her own. without Him. i had all these great plans mapped out in my head, all the things i said i wanted to do during hols. then while i was free, i slacked even the slightest things i could do. like praying. reading His word. that's all that i didn't do with all my heart, and half-heartedness is all it took to keep me apart from God.

not that i can do anything to change the time that has passed. but lince, start writing your blog again, and stop walking by youself. walk with God. even when things seem alright and great, you still need Him each day. don't take Him for granted. it really hurts not to be with God. and you are really too proud and not wise enough to live by your own anyway.

Melody of You

Matt Slocum's Melody of You.
performed by Sixpence None the Richer.

You're a painting with symbols deep
A symphony, soft as it shifts from dark beneath
A poem that flows, caressing my skin
In all of these things you reside
And I want to flow from the pen, bow, and brush
Then paper, string, and canvas touch
With ink in the air to dust your light
From morning 'til the black of night

This is my call, I belong to You
This is my call, to sing the melodies of You
This is my call, I can do nothing else
I can do nothing else

You're the scent of an unfound bloom
A simple tune, I only write variations to
A drink that will knock me down on the floor
A key that will unlock the door
Where I hear a voice sing familiar themes
Then beckons me weave notes in between
A bow and a string, a tap and a glass
You pour me, 'til the day has passed

This is my call I belong to You
This is my call to sing the melodies of You
This is my call I can do nothing else
I can do nothing else

At Present

back in singapore with an extra 1.5 kg, 3 huge pimples, numberless white heads and mosquito bites.

hmmz.

haiz...........................................


other than that, the past 1 month ++ has been superb. =)

My Failing Eyes

some people are so unlovable. i cant stand it when they do the things they do. it irks.

then again, i am reminded that somehow in some ways God never fails to see the beauty in them. even when i fail to do so.

people say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
thank God for that.
because the beholder is You- i am beautiful.

pls help me see them through Your eyes...

Wishlist

end of term 2. which means i am not going to be a freshman anymore. time really flies...

Things to do for the next 4 months (and beyond...):

go back indonesia...
to eat. kho tavern! grilled chicken with amiyaki sauce... i miss you!!!
to shop. ITC. kelapa gading mal.
to read indo comics.
to play my clavinova.
to slp on my bed in ptk. i miss my bear.
to see my family... esp. tuaku and his family. hopefully i can go visit them in surabaya.

oh, most imptly, i'm going back to jkt to fulfil a mission with wil. heh...

after 1 month, go back singapore...
to find a job. hopefully i can work in a christian bookstore... then i can enjoy the music all day long! heh. and browse thru those books when i am free. hmmz... or SPH. i dun mind any job there really. *cRosS FiNgERz*
to dance! somewhere....
to play piano.
to train tkd. must at least be able to do switch-kick smoothly!
to train ld. ooh i finally got to touch drums last night... heh.

in all e things i do... may i walk in Your ways and fix my eyes on You.

i got e chatter box up finally! heh. feel free to tag... say hi... say low... etc... =)

Barely

I'm barely breathing as I reach for the air. Not really. I'm not reaching for the air. I'm holding my own breath.

I'm barely breathing as I reach for the fallen leaves. Orange leaves. I love orange leaves. But they always fall. And i can't catch them. The more i clutch unto them, the faster they crush, and they fade.

I'm barely breathing as I reach for your hand. But my hands are full of candies. sweet chocolate candies that melt. I can't reach you with a hand that's already filled.


lince ah lince...

The Two Sisters

what happens when you have gastric before your presentation? you asked permission to go home after you finish.
what happens when you walk out of class, you realised that its raining, and you have no umbrella? you call a friend to ask if she has one.
what if she says no? she asked you to mt her at the lobby with another friend.
you then walked to the lobby, and u realise one was waiting for you, the other went to grab a hot milo for you. because you cant walk down the hill to the bustop, they waited together at the lobby for a taxi. you then realised that they were studying, and you are taking up their time. alot of their time (took super long for the taxi to come). but they still continued to hang around anyway.

just want to appreciate the two lovely sisters who were with me this afternoon... hUGz... thanx christie, thanx yinghui.... =)

Indescribable

Chris Tomlin's Indescribable

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God

All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God

Phonemes Words Sentences

sometimes there's so much that i want to express, but my words fail. i slur my thoughts away. it's not as if i have alot to say actually... hmmz... ultimately, there's only one thing that needs to be said.

the reason that i'm sleeping peacefully.

for all sinners, that's such a thing called hell. we are all sinners. but thankfully i'm going the other way. did i mention that for all sinners there's also a saviour? His name is Jesus.

Purely Love

pure love...

that's actually a pleonasm (mr whitby, i got that right! heh). i think love itself is pure. =)
and i really want to love with purity...

a month ago, my parents wish me "希望你找到好对象" during chinese new year. ok, i dun even know if i'm writing the right characters... but the gist is, they wished that i'll find my Someone, or at least find someone good for me? direct translation. it is the first time ever in my whole entire life that they wished me that. i was like... whoa.

then, my mom had this dream about some guy coming over to my house to see my parents... and THEN my bROther has this dream that i wanted to get married at 19. and my parents said ok. my brother said no. i think he freaked out in the dream. my father thinks that those are signs that i have a boyfriend... i think my family is really cute...

how untimely... just when i decided that no, i'm not getting myself into relationships, at least not for now. i think i'm not ready. i think i'm still too self-centred.

when 2 people get into a relationship, it is because he loves her for who she is. she loves him for who he is. i want to love him because of who he is, not simply because he is nice to me, therefore i shall be nice to him. a rlshp should not be just about Me. whether he has loved me enough, pleased me enough, give me enough. that's selfish love. and i don't believe in love that's selfish. or self-seeking. if i love someone, my focus should be on him. not me. tough right... that's why i feel i'm not ready.

here's e definition of love from 1 Cor 13.

"love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast. it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

love never fails."

love is patient... so there's a time where we wait.
love is kind... so we are compassionate. and we do not judge or condemn e other.
love does not envy... so we trust him. or her.
love does not boast. it is not proud... so we humble ourselves. and respect the other.
love is not rude... so we take courtesy especiallywith our family, when we already know each other so well. we don't take each other for granted.
love is not self-seeking...
love is not easily angered... patience! and self-control...
love keeps no record of wrongs... that's where forgiveness comes in... this is also tough...
love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth... that's where we help each other and support each other to hold on to the truth, to goodness, to God.
it always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres....
love never fails...

heh. love is so great isnt it? it's not just about love between a couple, but love in families, friends, colleages, project mates... etc.

and... love is pure. i dont want to look at a guy and think of him as a potential boyfriend. i just want to treat him like how Jesus will treat His friend. purely with love! =)