Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Living in the Audience of One

you know what i fear most?

for the past 2 months, almost 3, i've been working for the comp. been eating less, jogging more, carrying my trainings to my dreams, etc.
i fear that all of that will be futile. wasted down the drain in a mere six minutes this sat.
and how painful that will be, knowing that noone who's watching knows of the effort that is past. worse, knowing that someone knows, and is going to see how i fail to perform.

sigh little pride.. go away.

yet i know... i know it in my head, and my heart is beginning to understand, that i am living in the audience of one.

the most important thing of this process is not on how i fare this saturday. it's how i have been faring. there's one faithful audience who have been training with me throughout, he has seen all my ups and downs, and he knows that i have done my best. and that's enough and pleasing to him.

of course i still want to win. haha...
but winning does not prove that i am a better person than the opponent. losing does not prove that i am worse. victory comes from the Lord, and He shall give it to whoever He wishes. meanwhile, i just want to continue doing my best for that faithful audience. till the end. =)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." -Col 3:23

Saturday, February 24, 2007

A Few Things That Can Be Said

i have this friend who's been married for about 15 years. he's very close to his family. so even after marriage, he'll visit home more than every once in a while.

he said that however, he'll not visit home if he had quarrelled with his wife that day. just because he knows that he'll complain about it to his family...

i feel like saying alot of things now. haha... but i shan't because i know i am not in the right mind. and heart.

james jus left this morning, choon is going off tmr morning. darren n andy left too, but coming back soon!

enjoyed and rested myself in indo for the past week. but break week is going to be over tmr. 2 assignments due. one more midterm paper. 12 poems to hand in. and......... tkd comp this sat.

God, You are still here right?
hUgz.
james take care in canada k...
choon take care in aus too...

hUgz.