That Thing I Do

psych is in less than 3 days.
and i am stressed.

hey tt rhymes...

these are the things that i have been doing for e past week or so:

• late for appointments. (not new.)
• woke up on wed morning, checked my emails at 10. n realised that i have to attend a conference on wed at 8.30... and yes, that wednesday was the very supposed day.

worse things i have been doing:

• receive an sms in the morning. reply late at night.
• receive an sms. nv reply at all.
• promise a friend that i'll call her for lunch on friday, and i didnt.
• promise another friend that i'll have lunch with her, but i forgot. and i asked another friend for lunch instead.

there're much worst things that i have done... i have been indulging in my own world of stress and wateva is in my mind, that i became less concerned abt other things. abt friends. =( sorry k...

i feel drained... i feel that Lord, i dun have enough love to love so many pple... to just listen to them. there's so many people who have problems, who really need You. and i sincerely want to listen to you and pray for you, but when there's so many problems from diff people added up together, i get tired.... i get impatient when i am on e phone with you... i get irritated when you repeat waht you said. i want to spend time for myself. i want to study for my psych! haiz. i feel that i have so little time... so little love... so little attention that i can give to my friends...

i know tt it is God who FIRST love me so much.... so much more... so abundantly... tTs Y, i can love others... n i can love you. God loves you all so much more than i do... while my love and compassion is so little and finite compared to His. if God may use me, let me love you not with my own inadequate love, but with His. not with my own strength, but His.

if i havent give you enough of my time... i'm sorry k? huGz.
pls rem tt i am imperfect... that i cant be dere all e time. onli God can... so pls expect me to disappoint you... pls turn to God first and always, when u are up, or when u are down... cus He dun disappoint... n i do.

Practical Prudence

" The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel:

To know wisdom and instruction,
To perceive the words of understanding,
To receive the instruction of wisdom,
Justice, judgment, and equity;
to give prudence to the simple,
To the young man knowledge and discretion--
A wise man will hear and increase learning,
And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,
To understand a proverb and enigma,
The words of the wise and their riddels.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
But fools despise wisdom and instruction."

Prov 1:1-7

ok i am not trying to contradict my previous post...

In the whole of Proverbs, Solomon talks about practical knowledge and advice about God and how we should live our daily lives. there are v practical things such as telling us not be lazy( which was v relevant to me during A's. hee...), etc. but it also tells us that as we live, we should seek wisdom( which is different from practicality) from God (by firstly fearing Him). n again, God's wisdom is way beyond anyone's.

In Ecclesiates,5:2-3, it says:

"Do not be quick with your mouth,
do not be hasty in your heart
to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven
and you are on earth.
so let your words be few.
As a dream comes when there are many cares,
so the speech of a fool when there are many words. "

i am a fool to say so much... my words may misconstrue God's character. so Lord... pls correct me when i'm wrong... and i jus want to ask tt You will grant me Your wisdom to live each day.... and give wisdom and discernment too, to whoever is reading my foolish thoughts...

it's Practically Him! =)

was talking to yinghui when i realised that i may be misleading some of u when i used "practical" to describe God as One who is beyond practicality...

i associate someone who is practical to do things in the easiest, fastest, and most convenient way possible. it's something tt goes along with being pragmatic, realistic, useful, etc. because of tt, i cannot agree that God is a mere practical God.

However, He is undoubtly a purposeful God. He is soO full of purpose, from the start to the end! I would think that if God is only practical, He would have easily shown Himself in the sky, swirling the fast clouds, and thundered"I am the true God. Repent all of you who sin!"
n we all know God doesnt do that... Instead, He does things in weird wonderful ways. like, he is willing to wait to me for 15 years, before i acknowledge that He is God. =) He may wait a shorter or longer time for you. He even waited for a lifetime for some many of us. but He never gives up waiting for everybody. He waits everyday. for so many days, n so many years. It's been thousands of years since He created us and since Adam and Eve had fallen. that's how long He have waited for us to fellowship in the new heaven. i believe that whatever God is planning and doing, He "saw that it was good", and His reasons are always love, grace, and wisdom, and righteousness. which are far greater than practicality.

if hurt can be measured....
[no. of our days (wat i do today that hurt Him+ what u do today that disappoint Him)] X no. of pple ever lived = how much we have hurt Him.

i guess we may say that a thousand years will mean little to Him who is eternal. but e amount of hurt we are inflicting is... CrAzY! yet He is still so gracious and patient... nv give up on us and all... =)

it's grace i am breathing, love i am living...

Red Orange Yellow

i jus hit myself twice while i was bathing. hit my head against the wall once, and got hit by the shower head once. jus thought it was funny.... heh. but ouCh....

went to 牛车水 wif mama n zu-ce after dinner, n i really had a lovely time... chinatown looks so girlish with all the red, orange, yellow decorations! it's like the chinese version of christmas in orchard. but prettier... maybe it's because everything looks so dainty and the lantern lights feels so warm! they remind me of fireflies. just a bigger version... go there if u have the chance k? =) oh, but go there earlier because it gets overwhelmingly crowded in the later night.

there's so many things i want to tell u! but i'll fill u in another day... mama is slping early. And i am sleeping in her room tonight! heh... haven't done that for a looong time... papa is staying overnight with his brothers somewhere outside... so... i beta off e lights soon.. like now. heh. good nitEz.... choc dreamz.... =)

Tales as Such as This

Cinderella
Snow White n e 7 Dwarfs
Sleeping Beauty
Shrek
Beauty and the Beast
Rapunzel
Thumbelina
Aladin
Swan Lake
Little Mermaid
etc etc.

All the above and so much more end with a Happily Ever After...

My all time favourite fairy tale has always been Beauty and the Beast. it's a little different from the rest because Belle did not fell in love with a prince. she was able to see goodness in the heart of a beast, and fell in love with that creature. well... the beast did eventually become a handsome prince. but o well... the point is, she loves him as who he is. =)

Then Shrek2 comes along. so... i have 2 favourites! heh. i watched it once in e cinema, twice on dvd... so far. =P For the benefit of those who have not watched Shrek, Shrek is an ogre. ogres are this supposedly green hideous monsters. Basically at the end of the story, Princess Fiona can choose to remain a pretty princess or an ugly ogress. she can choose to be with Shrek tHE MAn or Shrek the ogre... *guess her choice*

The world is so full of deceit. It tells me that appearances matter more than the heart. Money is better than kindness and love. Signifigance is more significant than humility. All these subtle lies.... pls help me to see right through them!!!!!!!!!!! Lord pls grant me wisdom, so i may choose to live each day, and each moment the way that is pleasing in Your eyes. remind me tt i am living in the world, but am not of the world!

i know that sometimes we have to be practical. and sometimes being practical seems to be the best way to decide something. but human understanding is so limited. God's ways are much higher than ours, and i know my God is more than just a practical God.

i make pple worry... especially my parents and my bro. to them, i seemed too driven by emotions and ideals... but Lord... oh i dont know. i am still learning... each day i am learning.

one day i want to love my Someone for who he is... not because of his looks nor money. though it wouldnt hurt to fall for someone who have a set of crooked teeth (esp if he has vampire teeth!!!) =P. but teeth fall out soon enough... when we get old... so it still doesnt matter. =) it oso wudnt hurt to to fall for someone's who's rich. so tt i can go shopping more often!! haha... seriously... i know that money is needed to buy a house, raise family, have kids... etc etc...
but i really hope that at the end, i can be like Princess Fiona, who can boldly choose to say that "i want to be with the... ogre, whom i fell in love with." =)

Official First

yaY!! i feel like this is a play-pretend column on e newspaper or smtgh.... e best thing is, i get to have e wHoLe page by myself... AND i get to write anything i want! which feels great. =)

writing is fun... i love to write! =) but writing is also scary. especially when pple like u are reading this... i am scared that u will laugh at me. i am scared that this page will look like some primary school English composition and you will look down on me when i say i dream of being a journalist. i am scared that my childlish thoughts and insecurities will show through. i am scared that i will become pretentious, where i'll write about someone who's better than who i really am. and i'm scared that i'll misrepresent God.

all i want to do is just to have some fun as i write, hoping to tell a bit of His extraordinary story through mine. The story of an ordinary girl who happens to live at e 8th floor.

hMmz... i need to get used to this....
o well... =) halo.