15 Jan 2010
"is it better to love knowing that u'll be hurt, or to just close our eyes and sleep.
y is it that this is wrong, and that is right? who is it that determine that this is better than that which u desire? when does this start to matter when it never did? n how is that a part of our life?
it is difficult to be clothed with humility at 24. it is the age where time is her strength n everything else is her right."
22 Apr 2014
At 28, it's no more difficult to be clothed with humility- time is no more her strength n nothing is her right.
this is wrong and that is right, because that's what it has always been, and that's what everyone else has been saying. and they are the ones who determine that this is better than that.
this starts to matter now because fear is only becoming real, and that's a part of our life because fear comes with an aged, muddled eye.
but still, is it better to love knowing that u'll be hurt, or to just close our eyes and sleep?
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Monday, March 03, 2014
His 40th Day
I was about to leave for the airport that December morning. A Kong was in a deep sleep and refused to open his eyes no matter how I called and squeezed his hand.
The caretaker said that I should just go and she'd tell him I said goodbye, 但是我不服气, A Kong 怎能不跟我说再见。And there was that lingering thought that anytime now, could be my last encounter with him.
The caretaker said that I should just go and she'd tell him I said goodbye, 但是我不服气, A Kong 怎能不跟我说再见。And there was that lingering thought that anytime now, could be my last encounter with him.
My mom came to rush me to the car, and in the next few minutes, we managed to wake him and squeezed in a quick prayer, a kiss and a goodbye. And i thank God, because He knew me, and He knew i would be regretful otherwise.
A Kong is my last grandparent, and somehow, his funeral felt the most peaceful compared to my other grandparents'.
Maybe it's the white and yellow flowers that were strewn prettily on top of fresh soil; the rectangular piece of land looked like a mini summer garden, and it reminds me of weddings with flower girls and their petals.
Actually there were other moments when I thought the ritual was somehow like a wedding. Like seeing how almost everyone flew back home from different parts of the world, or like how the family trailed him down the church aisle, or like how there's so much white.
But one other reason that made everything felt so peaceful was the hope that he's gone to be with my grandma, and that there are better things ahead of them.
I suppose weddings are also like that- it's meant to be the beginning of better things ahead (of course you might totally disagree on that, since 1. if funerals are like -- > weddings, it means that 2. weddings are like--> funerals. ie, it's the end of you.)
And so, as the family prepares for his 40th-day service, i think of him in his younger days with my grandma, on a pretty garden full of flowers, where all his children are rounded together, and his grandchildren loud and running.
A Kong is my last grandparent, and somehow, his funeral felt the most peaceful compared to my other grandparents'.
Maybe it's the white and yellow flowers that were strewn prettily on top of fresh soil; the rectangular piece of land looked like a mini summer garden, and it reminds me of weddings with flower girls and their petals.
Actually there were other moments when I thought the ritual was somehow like a wedding. Like seeing how almost everyone flew back home from different parts of the world, or like how the family trailed him down the church aisle, or like how there's so much white.
But one other reason that made everything felt so peaceful was the hope that he's gone to be with my grandma, and that there are better things ahead of them.
I suppose weddings are also like that- it's meant to be the beginning of better things ahead (of course you might totally disagree on that, since 1. if funerals are like -- > weddings, it means that 2. weddings are like--> funerals. ie, it's the end of you.)
And so, as the family prepares for his 40th-day service, i think of him in his younger days with my grandma, on a pretty garden full of flowers, where all his children are rounded together, and his grandchildren loud and running.
Wednesday, January 08, 2014
Song of Two O Fourteen
Glad that I live am I, that the sky is blue
Glad for the country lanes, and the fall of dew
After the sun the rain, after the rain the sun
This is the way of life, till the work be done
All that we need to do, be we low or high
is to see that we grow, nearer the sky
Glad for the country lanes, and the fall of dew
After the sun the rain, after the rain the sun
This is the way of life, till the work be done
All that we need to do, be we low or high
is to see that we grow, nearer the sky
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