i want to laugh and cry at the same time...

small girl BIG QUESTIONS

my hands went cold for a while yesterday evening. the green man didn't know though. the red man pretends to know, stood still and mocked. i felt stupid. But after the green man flashed, that little stupidity gave me relief.

life's little ironies...

today restlessness resides a little more than usual. i get a little more emotional. i haven't seen so many people coming for service in a long time.... someone commented that it felt like christmas service. the rare scene of a full house. time seems not to notice though, service goes on as per normal, lunch, then home. and that was it. the last of CG/YF service.

yet this is not the last of us. nor the least.

for all my questions of life and whos and whys and hows and whats and whens and wheres, oh how He knows. and yes He knows. should i repeat that He knows? and i am saying it for the fourth time not for your emphasis, but for my benefit.
He knows.

small girls can only trust His answer. Even when she hears silence...

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"God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
with wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God"
Awesome God, by Rich Mullins

Luke 10:39-42

She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha" the Lord answerd," you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Just a Note

hey all.... heh have been neglecting this space for sometime...
was busy with work then, now busy with sch... lotsa things happen in 1 month, yet everything remains pretty much the same... there are ups... there are downs....
basically, i am well. =)

things i did:
went for Mahasiswa Indonesia Menuai (MIM) 2005 over a weekend. it's a youth missionary conference... made really nice friends... hope to see them again on 12sep! and i learnt much frm those 3 days... but i musnt jus be contented wif learning, must oso practise them! heh. so many things till i duno how to start and i dun even know if i shud pen them down here. but i guess it doesnt really matter.... what matters more is my actions... not mere words.

working was an experience... both good and bad... i got my first pay cheque! heehee... though its not much... but it's qte fun waiting for it... it's also interesting to work with different people and supervisors. colleages are nice fortunately... i work part-time with 3 other smu friends. plus 1 nus friend, plus 1 more friend frm outside. all nice people... =)

did other things here and there too.... but can't rem at this point of time.... heh... nxt time rem then blog...

school is starting to give lotsa readings and work... so i mus jiayou... heh. all of u in sch or working or in ns jiayou too k! take care till i see you....

When My Thoughts Trail

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.

That's the first line he typed in Moulin Rogue.
so queer.
when you love and that person seems not to care.
or when the wrong person seems to care.

do you really learn just to love? and all you do is hope to be loved in return.
do you really just learn to love?

love is an amazing verb. and like all other gestures, it takes practise to better itself.

it's great to love, and be loved in return.
it's greater to still love, when there is no return.
yet it's greatest to love, when there is not even an expectation of a return.

and i am so clearly ashamed and humbled by the speck of love that i boast so dearly, as i search for my dear returns.