Monday, January 31, 2005

That Thing I Do

psych is in less than 3 days.
and i am stressed.

hey tt rhymes...

these are the things that i have been doing for e past week or so:
  • late for appointments. (not new.)
  • woke up on wed morning, checked my emails at 10. n realised that i have to attend a conference on wed at 8.30... and yes, that wednesday was the very supposed day.

worse things i have been doing:

  • receive an sms in the morning. reply late at night.
  • receive an sms. nv reply at all.
  • promise a friend that i'll call her for lunch on friday, and i didnt.
  • promise another friend that i'll have lunch with her, but i forgot. and i asked another friend for lunch instead.
there're much worst things that i have done... i have been indulging in my own world of stress and wateva is in my mind, that i became less concerned abt other things. abt friends. =( sorry k...

i feel drained... i feel that Lord, i dun have enough love to love so many pple... to just listen to them. there's so many people who have problems, who really need You. and i sincerely want to listen to you and pray for you, but when there's so many problems from diff people added up together, i get tired.... i get impatient when i am on e phone with you... i get irritated when you repeat waht you said. i want to spend time for myself. i want to study for my psych! haiz. i feel that i have so little time... so little love... so little attention that i can give to my friends...

i know tt it is God who FIRST love me so much.... so much more... so abundantly... tTs Y, i can love others... n i can love you. God loves you all so much more than i do... while my love and compassion is so little and finite compared to His. if God may use me, let me love you not with my own inadequate love, but with His. not with my own strength, but His.

if i havent give you enough of my time... i'm sorry k? huGz.
pls rem tt i am imperfect... that i cant be dere all e time. onli God can... so pls expect me to disappoint you... pls turn to God first and always, when u are up, or when u are down... cus He dun disappoint... n i do.

2 comments:

whisked away said...

ellincey, don't worry so much. lets study hard for psychology ok?? =) hugs! jia you-er!

lince said...

thank you gal... hUgz. =)