Once, in chemistry, I'd learned that objects never really touch- because of ions repelling, there's always an infinitesimal space, so that even when it feels like you're holding hands or rubbing up against something on the atomic level, you're not.
She was talking about gaps. Gaps between her and her adoptive family; gaps between birth mothers and daughters that were given away; she was talking about gaps that will always be between any two persons.
Gaps are not generally considered a positive thing. Generation gap. Income gap. Gap between two teeth.
But like what Kahlil Gibran wonderfully described in The Prophet, there is a certain sort of gap that is beautiful. It is not only beautiful, it is necessary.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
I remember a girl who once folded me three little stars in her hands. She threaded a fine wire to hold the stars in a line and pointed, "The one on the left is me, the one on the right is you, and God is right in the middle". I'm not sure if that girl still remembers this incident or if she has known back then the depth and wisdom of her words. But at that moment, the stars revealed to me that infinitesimal spaces between persons are there for a reason- so that it can be filled by glue that holds us and holds everything together. Glue that completes us. Satisfies us. Oh. And not all glue works, you know. In fact, I only know of one that does it flawlessly. God.
Things break all the time. Day breaks, waves break, voices break. Promises break. Hearts break. She wrote. Flames turn to dust, lovers become friends, and all good things come to an end. She sings.
Hollow spaces between two persons are indeed scary. It makes us want to hold on tighter, it makes us try too hard, it makes us afraid. And it makes our hearts break when the spaces in between becomes a real crack that never really mends. The thing is, it has already cracked so often, especially if we tried to do without the glue.
But like the little stars that I still keep, I am grateful that there is at least one assurance that all things will surely crumble, but God is faithfully keeping them together; all relationships will surely be broken, but He is graciously keeping us all together.
